stolide
Professional Psion
Real Eyes Realize Real Lies...
Posts: 598
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Post by stolide on Oct 3, 2007 23:53:35 GMT -5
I can't sleep, so I wrote another poem, I thought I'd post it here so that someone may enjoy it.
I had a dream with a stream, This stream came from earth’s seam, And there was a man of which I dreamed, He came along to glean the stream, He could not glean the stream, Nor anything else of which I dreamed,
This man he wore bright green, Green that evoked the mean, The mean of all earths seams, This mean of all earths seams left my dream,
Then the man had to kill, He had to kill with great skill, A skillful kill was beyond his will, This is why he’s at the mill, The mill improves all skill, It improves a skill to kill,
The man now hangs, He hangs with a bang, He sang the bang and now he hangs.
Lots of internal rhyme, just the way I like it.
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Post by leethal on Oct 7, 2007 18:49:27 GMT -5
It's cool up to a point, then it just is an effort for rhyming. You probably know but you don't need to rhyme to make good poetry.
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stolide
Professional Psion
Real Eyes Realize Real Lies...
Posts: 598
|
Post by stolide on Oct 9, 2007 9:30:33 GMT -5
I know, the whole point of this one was to have as much internal rhyme as possible. The last part though was symbolic. To sing a bang refers to the sound with which his gun rang.(i.e. the bang rang from his gun so he hangs for murder.)
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