Exploding Pickle!

[Infiniti]

(Yeah, I know the topic title was random)Weeeeeeeellll.... uh, looks like you guys have another new member on your hands... Hi.

As you probably guessed, my name is Infiniti. I usually go by the username MegaFreak2(or MF2 for short) but decided not to. I am 15 years old, and like most of you here(probably), I have relatives that do not believe in psionics/think it is evil. In my case, just about everyone in my family believes that "psychic" powers are "evil and demonic".(To tell you the truth I really do not believe that demons exist) My aunt has everyone brainwashed into thinking that, and it seems I'm one of the few that hasn't conformed to this way of thinking.(Most of the family is Christian. All of my life I've been raised as a Christian, but I ended up turning from that path for many reasons that I would not care to mention, except because my aunt named nearly everything she could find demonic, including anything having to do with martial arts, and anything "psychic". She does not know about the proper term "Psionics" though) However, nobody in my family knows this. I have Tuesdays and Thursdays off from school every week so that's basically when you'd see me on.

I discovered Psionics a little bit before my fifteenth birthday(Dec. 31st). To tell you the truth, I'm not entirely sure what made me start looking around about it; I had gotten on Google and felt prodded for some reason to look up "cryokinesis". After about half an hour of searching I came across a site or two. However, in the beginning, most of the material I found struck me as "fake", and rightly so, because it pretty much was(I don't think you can make a sword out of psi that can kill someone, with barely any training, or that you can create big chunks of ice, also with barely any training). Later I found the "Psionics Training Guide" by Xirokoto(Richard Doolittle), and at the same time, the Psion Guild. What seemed odd to me was that everyone seemed to have a different way to use Psionics. A little bit after my fifteenth birthday I started experimenting with the P.T.G. and the Psion Guild's material. This was when I was still a "Christian". I constantly had conflicts about whether all of this was right or not. And of course that didn't help when practicing... I didn't produce any results for about a month, and at the same time, I constantly searched for answers on the Internet. Around this time I was just plain sick of Christianity(I could pretty much see through the whole thing for quite some time but I'm not sure why I still "believed"). The hypocrisy constantly being spewed, and not to mention the "This is evil, and that is evil too. I'm not sure why but it is!" constantly disgusted me and I finally had enough. I had no idea of the spiritual side of Psionics- actually, I had no idea that there -was- a spiritual side. Eventually, by Google search, I found PsiWorld. I'm not entirely sure why but the article about spirit guides seemed to be shouting "READ MEEEEEEE!" to me at the top of its lungs. So I read the article, and... wow. I was completely blown away by what I had just read, to tell you the truth. So I kept digging around. I was hungry for more. I have just about every article written on the site saved as a readable offline page to my computer(It doesn't have Internet but it's safe from my parents). A couple days later I discovered JediKaren's Astral Projection logs.(Keep in mind that this was just a few days ago from when you're reading this) Now, I had read up on the astral temples and JediKaren's sprit guide so I knew what she was talking about. But I don't think anything could prepare me for what I read, to tell you the truth. Some of the stories even made me cry, to tell you the truth. I finally felt that I had found a site where I belonged. Now I am back on the Psion's path. So yes, I am a newbie. Oh well, I guess. Now you can watch me grow!

So... A little bit about my interests and stuff like that...

I enjoy art, music, foreign culture(Mainly Japanese and Chinese), learning new languages, and writing giant walls of text(As if you didn't notice...). My real life social skills are terrible- I can hold a conversation for maybe 3 seconds. Nobody seems to share my interests, and nobody really cares about me anyways in my school. In my school(Not very well known of to the general public) I am somewhat feared by those around me... It has something to do with my height(6'1") and my "strength". I really don't like it, because most people don't realize how sensitive I actually am, except for maybe the few people I have met that needed help themselves. I walk around with almost an empty look on my face, which stems from the fact that I have nobody to talk to, nobody that shares my true interests, nobody to call a true friend. Even my parents don't really understand what I think, though they claim to. Since I truly hate the government and how much it has fallen from corruption, I also have a hard time with officials/people of authority. I have always seemed to be that one person in a crowd that is different, so I try to be seen as little as possible. However, when I am around people I know my personality seems to change from a sad one to a mildly "happy" one. I have been misdiagnosed with ADD once when I was little but was able to prove that I didn't have it. I generally feel emotions more strongly than other people and seems to have a lot of strange "flashes" of precognition.

So, um, yeah, that's all I can think of now. I actualy typed this up yesterday because I didn't want to spend time on my day off doing this.

(Not related to the topic but I still want to ask) JediKaren mentioned occasionally in her AP logs a "mark" on her forehead.... What exactly is she referring to...?

[Dan]

Welcome! Hope you find here useful.

[JediKaren]

Wow, that's some intro. I think you get a karma point just for your incredible intro.

Welcome to the site. I'm glad to see you've already taken a look around the site and of course my logs. What stories made you cry? lol sorry, but I can't see any being that tear jerking. As for the mark, I'm a bit more than confused on it myself. Make sure you have read all three of my astral logs because I know in the first one, I was "given" it, but even that I question.

[Infiniti]

What I considered tear-jerking included the part about your brother... However, I'm still a little confused about the "female trapped in a male body" thing... How did THAT happen? I read the whole thing like five times and still didn't get it. And the abuse by your father... Like I said, I feel emotion a bit more strongly than other people.

Also, I cannot find your first log... Do you know where it is? I don't.

EDIT: Whoops, I found it. Neeeeevermind... I think the mark has something to do with your third eye...maybe. I honestly don't know much about it so I couldn't help with that. But still, some more reading material!!!(yay)

ANOTHER EDIT: Whoa, this is weird... I read one small little comment on your first AP log:

"if you haven't figured it out, I'm not proof reading all of this. Nor do I care to. Yeah I'm lazy, look at what I'm doing, plus two jobs. I have a right to be lazy should I want. Anyway more tomorrow. Once I'm caught up, I'll be posting one a day or whenever I train."

For some reason that little text block seems familiar to me, as if I had seen it somewhere before... Odd.

[Fearn]

Hey, welcome. I like reading giant walls of text, but not writing them. If you have any questions (about pretty much anything) I'll answer or direct you to someone who can answer.

What languages do you speak? What sort of music do you like? Which government are you talking about?

[snowind]

Hey that's some huge intro! Welcome to Psiworld!

[Infiniti]

What languages do you speak?

Mostly Japanese, but would like to learn a bit more of Italian and Russian- more than like two words anyways... Maybe Chinese if I happen to feel suicidal and masochistic. I also know a teeny bit of Spanish but that's kind of normal since a lot of my family is Hispanic(My dad used to live in Cuba) and Native American.

What sort of music do you like?

Classic rock, some orchestral stuff, and a lot of electronic stuff like Acid and Trance. Tell you the truth, I hope to one day be recognized as a top-tier electronic musician(and digital artist). Oh, and I like a couple Megadeth songs too but I like to keep a calm state of mind so I rarely listen to anything "angry". I also like "ethnic" music. Mostly Japanese and Chinese- I love things like the shakuhachi, koto, and the Chinese violin.

Which government are you talking about?

[cynicmode]The government in general. The stupidity of politics, the corruption.The lies being told to us just so we can have "answers"And I don't get along with most government authorities. Yes, while I try to act as polite as I can, I don't get along well with most people with government jobs. Except for my friend's dad, he's a policeman and I got along pretty well with him.(This friend of mine actually looks inside instead of outside so we get along pretty well.) Even though I really never do anything to upset them, they don't seem to like me... Maybe it's my face. Or, uh, something weird like that.[/cynicmode]

I like reading giant walls of text, but not writing them.

I suppose somebody has to do it...*Laughs*

Thanks for the welcome everyone! It's nice to feel welcome.

Oh, and by the way, I know Proboards almost like the back of my hand so if you need help with it I might be able to help.(Just a thought)

What stories made you cry? lol sorry, but I can't see any being that tear jerking.

Oh, uh, I forgot to mention that I was up at like 2 in the morning reading the logs... Yeah, I don't always get that much sleep... When I'm tired it's easy for me to get emotional.

[JediKaren]

What I considered tear-jerking included the part about your brother... However, I'm still a little confused about the "female trapped in a male body" thing... How did THAT happen? I read the whole thing like five times and still didn't get it. And the abuse by your father... Like I said, I feel emotion a bit more strongly than other people.

Basically, you need to read up on transgender people to really understand them. What happened was my sister, who was born a male and lived as a male until she moved out 9 years ago always felt like she was born the wrong gender. Biologically this is possible if you look at their hormones. So after she moved out and some years later, she discovered the idea about "becoming" (which is the wrong word, but as close as I can get) a female through surgery. It was rough getting use to her being a female when I use to think she was a he, but after hours and hours of talking to her and getting to know her thoughts and beliefs, I'm cool with it and even respect her very much. She has live a life much harder than mine and has managed to survived, something I'm not sure I could do.

Sadly both of us suffer greatly from an abused teenager hood where our thoughts and views about the world were greatly twisted and corrupted by our racist father. But before I sound like I'm going "woe is me" understand that both of us have been working on the problem a lot and have greatly changed. Though I still find myself thinking or reacting the way my father would want me to, which is never right or healthy for me. Like I get stressed out very easily because my father taught me to alway go into near panic mode when anything, even the most minor thing goes wrong and I can't control it. If you read my logs, you see the struggle I go through to over come it and sadly I still haven't conquered it. But at least I have recognized it and have some idea on how to deal with it.

ANOTHER EDIT: Whoa, this is weird... I read one small little comment on your first AP log:

"if you haven't figured it out, I'm not proof reading all of this. Nor do I care to. Yeah I'm lazy, look at what I'm doing, plus two jobs. I have a right to be lazy should I want. Anyway more tomorrow. Once I'm caught up, I'll be posting one a day or whenever I train."

For some reason that little text block seems familiar to me, as if I had seen it somewhere before... Odd.

Well I have posted this log on Universal LightWorkers and The Enimga League. Maybe you read it there, but I don't think so.

[Infiniti]

Basically, you need to read up on transgender people to really understand them. What happened was my sister, who was born a male and lived as a male until she moved out 9 years ago always felt like she was born the wrong gender. Biologically this is possible if you look at their hormones. So after she moved out and some years later, she discovered the idea about "becoming" (which is the wrong word, but as close as I can get) a female through surgery. It was rough getting use to her being a female when I use to think she was a he, but after hours and hours of talking to her and getting to know her thoughts and beliefs, I'm cool with it and even respect her very much. She has live a life much harder than mine and has managed to survived, something I'm not sure I could do.

Ah, that explains it. Thanks a lot. I'm sure you're proud of your sister that she can get through her life.

Sadly both of us suffer greatly from an abused teenager hood where our thoughts and views about the world were greatly twisted and corrupted by our racist father. But before I sound like I'm going "woe is me" understand that both of us have been working on the problem a lot and have greatly changed. Though I still find myself thinking or reacting the way my father would want me to, which is never right or healthy for me. Like I get stressed out very easily because my father taught me to alway go into near panic mode when anything, even the most minor thing goes wrong and I can't control it. If you read my logs, you see the struggle I go through to over come it and sadly I still haven't conquered it. But at least I have recognized it and have some idea on how to deal with it.

Yes, I'm very sorry that that happened to you... I won't pretend I've been through that but I'm glad that you are able to deal with it.

Well I have posted this log on Universal LightWorkers and The Enimga League. Maybe you read it there, but I don't think so.

No, what it is is that, usually when I'm dreaming, I have flashes of images that sometimes appear in my mind. Sometimes I'm doing something, sometimes it's something happening. At one point, I saw that little block of text at some time... It seems familiar.