Under Pressure

[pressure]

Hello.

Er... how do I start this thing...

Ok the basics. I'm 17. I'm a girl. I wanted to learn more about manipulating the elements around me. I've recently felt a strong connection to the earth and got over my fear of the dark.
I love the idea that the whole earth is this one huge breathing organism. I was born in August, on a sunday, in the year of the snake so it seems like my natural element would be fire. But I'm not sure. I'm actually partial to the freedom of air and I love the strength of earth. Water is very feminine and soothing and fire is passionate. I would like to think they're all my natural elements. I've never made a psi ball before. Ok I have. Once. My 10th grade teacher taught me how to make one and I tried it a couple times. When I checked out this site I was amazed that some of you can see your psi balls. So I'll be working on that.

I'm an empath. I was born that way and I actually started noticing that I was different my 8th grade year. My 10th grade teacher I mentioned before told me I was intuitive. Actually when I started to notice I always new how people felt I didn't know what it was and I knew what "empathy" meant so I called myself an Empath. When I learned that was actually the proper term for it I laughed. I don't really notice it most of the time. It does bother me because if others are sad or mad it affects me too and that can be rough. I never usually get heachaches because of it. Or maybe I have but I never thought that my headaches were because of that. Actually empathy can really get me down because at school people are usually annoyed and bored so that gets to me. I've recently (as in the past year) learned to deal with that. I did those exercises where you close your eyes and try to feel what a friend of yours is feeling. Again I didn't know this was actually what you were suppose to do. I just thought it would be a good idea. If you haven't noticed, I never really did much research into this after I found out I could do it. I just kinda lived with it.
I love how I always know what people think about me and when people are lying. It works in my favor.
I've recently started trying to reverse the effect and send my emotions to others. The idea of doing this just came to me. I didn't even learn that it was possible and something emapths can do until last monday. It just seemed natural for me.

I'm completely alone in this. I can't tell my friends. I can't tell my parents. I can't tell my teachers. I'm the only one I know who believes in this and can do this as far as I know.

I love that show Avatar the Last Airbender, which started my interest in manipulating fire, earth, air, water. Just something in the back of my mind told me I could do it. It sounds like it takes years and years just to make small progress though. I hope it's worth it.

This is getting long. Thanks if you're still reading!

So after learning about all this I found this site and signed up!
I've been practicing some of the exercises like with the cork and bowl of water and with the match. The bowl of water didn't work. I do think I managed to attract watet to my hand in the shower though. Fire was easier. I can't put a candle out but I think I suceeded with a match. I did an experiment where I let a match burn by itself without looking at it and the flame went all the way down to my fingers and then again with me trying to put it out and it worked twice so let's hope it's not just luck.
When I lit a candle I tried to make it shrink but that didn't work so well. I made it get real still though even when I was blowing air on it. And when I put my hand near it the flame would lean toward my hand. I'm right handed but the flame is more attracted to my left hand. When I cupped my hands around the flame it would point towards me. And I flicked my hand at it real gently and it would jerk. So my greatest achievement was with fire.

Another thing I should mention is that I'm Catholic. I'm sure channeling is possible but it's not something I would ever like to do. Any and all energy I recieve is from God. I pray every time I practice psi.

What I'm working on right now is opening and exercising my chakras. I've successfully opened my root, water, and fire chakras. I'll work on the rest when I have time. Exams are coming up. ew.
I pray while I meditate. I see my earth chakra as my God part. My water is for the Virgin Mother Mary. My fire is my guardian Angel. My air and sound/ether is the Holy Spirit. The tought: Jesus and the crown/cosmic is how God is in everything and everyone and we're all connected yet individual at the same time.
So yeah I'm having fun with that.

I've read how some of you are hearing voices from darkness and seeing dark figures. Just be careful.

A lot of psi falls under the catholic belief of Mysticism. Father Pedro Pio could be in two places at once. St. Theresa could levitate and stigmata has got to be one of the most intense forms of empathy I've heard of. And I bet Moses was an Empath too.

So wish me luck! I'll keep filling you in on my progress. I promise my future posts won't be this long. ;D

[pressure]

AAahh! I'm so excited!

Ok thank you silent! I'm working on my psiwheel now and something happened! It spinned! barely! but it did!

and the biggest thing is i FELT something! it feels like a magnets opposing eachother. and it's coming from MY hand! i think this could be a breakthrough for me. i know what to feel for for my psi balls now.

[pressure]

Wow I'm so glad I found this site.

My lights are flickering a lot right now. Yep there it goes again. They always do/ have done that. When I was little I used to stare at a light and imagine the room getting dimmer and dimmer and it did but I thought it was my imagination. I'm pretty excited right now. I had no idea that I could do all this and that light flickering is actually getting annoying.

I stood under my light and I remember when I was a kid I would stare at it until the room seemed dim but the light was really white and bright and then the light would grow and shrink and grow and shrink and I just did that again now. Except this time I started feeling electricity flow through my body, expecially my legs and I got scared so I stopped. My entire body was tingling.

So I guess I found my thing. Electricity. It makes the most sense. Fire seems to be my easiest element, this is something I could do since I was young, the feeling between my pams or any time I gather energy in my palm, feels magnetic.

This is surprising and cool at the same time. And it's easy to practice, unlike making water swirl or a candle light.

[silent]

pressure said:

Ok thank you silent! I'm working on my psiwheel now and something happened! It spinned! barely! but it did!

Congratulations! I sent you a PM in regards to your post in my log too =)

[pressure]

I made a psi ball in math today. I had to stop though because some kid turned around and I was afraid he'd see me. So I just hoped it was off to do something good. i will be practicing with electricity more often now. at least once a day. same with water. fire is harder to do in secret so whenever i have the chance.

so what's happening with the electiricy? am i sucking it in or what?

[pressure]

did i mention i made my first official psi ball yesterday? It felt very strong. I'm trying to see them now.

So today I was in a concert and there's a long time where I just sit and wait for my part so I decided I should probably meditate to pass time and practice. So I did and I focussed on the spotlights and the theater is pretty huge. To me the room around the lights dimmed but only shortly and on and off. There's a lot of energy in that building. So after doing that for like an hour the concert was over and we got off stage and i wanted to see something on the back of my friends shirt so I touched her shoulder and ended up shocking her like six times. haHA!

[pressure]

so exams. yeah. i haven't meditated in forever.

i did work on fire yesterday. when the match is upright i can put it out immediately. i started getting annoyed with it going out so fast and now i'm working on not putting it out every time i light a match but i think my brain's on autopilot. 0.o
when the match is turned sideways it takes forever for me to put it out. probably because it gets oxygen more easily.

i can't for the love of me put out a candle. cool thing though: i got the fire to ripple. the flame is very attracted to my right hand now and when i ripple my fingers the flame freaks out and flickers and ripples. i tried staring at the blue part of the flame and just keeping my hands at my sides and the fire every now and then would ripple and flicker violently. (it wasn't my breath, i had my shirt over my mouth). so i guess that's progress. *pats head* i'm still working though. water is hopeless. same with air and earth. and i thought air would be the easiest. i haven't really practiced too much with it though. funny enough, fire is the most convenient to work with. haven't really worked on whatever's happening with electricity. i'll work on it some more though. after exams.

as for exams, i feel like a failure even though my grades are ok. but they're just ok and not perfect so *profanity*

happing psi-ing.

and feel free to comment any time.

[pressure]

haven't posted in a while. i haven't practiced psi. i've focussed my energy a bit but that's the extent of it. i went running in the snow. that was pretty cool. we haven't had school for a few days because of the cold and snow. It's not that bad but hey i'm not complaining. i haven't really done much with my days off. i feel like i should be doing something but there's nothing i can just sit down and focus on. i'm scatter brained. ack! i hate that. which is exactly why i haven't worked on psi. i can't focus. i can't even focus enough to meditate.

i hope everyone is having better luck than i am!