The Emotional Battle

[leethal]

oh dang, now i'll have to wait for the next part to know if you passed!

[Jose~]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Karen you truely are a GREAT writer.

You should try and publish this if you really wanted. =D


~Jose

[JediKaren]

Thank you, but Lucus films has made it clear they won't take fan fiction.

[leethal]

lol... I think george lucas is lazy. no offense, I think his work has been good, but the man is still young and he won't finish the saga!

[JediKaren]

what is there to finish? The tale was about Anakin Skywalker, not Luke or the Jedi or anyone else.

[leethal]

I don't know. I heard there were 9 episodes.

[JediKaren]

GL has said he will not make any more movies.

[snowind]

Besides, if you wanna know the rest of the story the are like a zillion comics about Star wars, I mean not everything should be turned into a movie. Just see the spiderman 3 movie :s lol

[leethal]

lol... Karen, I know he said he wouldn't make any more movies, but I also heard he had more to do, he just said he was too old... and then i saw him and thought "if that's old, I might as well stop studying, i'm too old too!"

[JediKaren]

There was one advantage of going first and that was you didn’t have to wait, wrecking all nerves, for your name to be called. The worst part was you got to see everyone not make the mistakes you made and groan because someone performed better than you and there was nothing you could do about it.

There were three people that stood out in my mind as I watched them go through the moves. The first person was the new apprentice, named Irini. She stuck her head up, refusing to show any nervousness, though she could not hide it from my Force sense. She bowed shortly and quickly to the teacher, us, and her new master, Deila Cobral. I silently cursed at myself for not thinking to bow to my master. Perhaps, because Irini was only a week new with her master, she was still trying to gain the respect from Master Cobral. I carefully watched her moves. She went through them ok. She had clearly practiced them, but she had no grace or anything to write home about. She ended the show with a quick bow and promptly sat down. I turned my head around to observe her master nodding in approval to her. There was a sharp nudge in the Force as Mirmo grabbed my attention. His glare and unhappy features said all. He clearly did not approve of me spying on the new master and apprentice team and titled his head to indict I was to turn my attention back to the class.

After a few students went, one young man, about the age of nineteen stood up. His posture was of assurance. His walk was slow with a natural grave. The highlights in his hair caught to dappling sunlight, turning his brandy brown hair into a deep red. His blue eyes were deep, sensitive, with maturity and conscious for himself and others. The students politely parted for him, the comments died down. He looked around as he walked, making eye contact, communicating so powerfully and yet without the Force. Bright hopes and whispers of good luck sprang up around him. He inspired goodness in people and he was a natural leader. Here was my dream, my crush, my day dream ideal date taking his place for the test. His name was Roan and I thought it was the most day dream name of all.

There was just one thing wrong with my perfect man. Roan was horrible at lightsaber skills. His hand slightly shook. He didn’t bend his knees when he was suppose to and then stood straight as unbending stick during the times he was suppose to lower his center of gravity. Roan could barely remember to bow and even that simple movement was almost to much for him. The cool, self assured person I laid eyes on a minute before had been replaced with a seemingly young boy, sweating nervously, hands shaking, eyes darting, showing he was struggling to remember what came next.

“You may begin Roan”

Roan looked up at the lightsaber teacher and gave a quick nod. One, two, three, pause. He was at a downward angle on his right when he paused. He took a deep breath which steadied the stick and went on. Four, five, six, seven. Now, just for that last stab and he would have completed the first part of the test. His stick wavered again. Oh come, Roan, I knew he could do this. I saw him in class do the simple move without trouble. He jerked the stick back; I cringed at his lack of grace, and stick the pretend sword forward. Mirmo would have easily blocked and carried the blow to the side, leaving my beautiful Roan open for the merciless attack of my relentless master. All he had to do was the slashs and he would be done. He brought the sword up and I heard the good sound of the sword quickly running through air. He repeated the motion again. I wanted to slap him for forgetting to repeat the move on the other side of him. Roan bowed and sat down, looking around. The crowd was a mixture of smiles and strange looks as they tried to hide their disappointment. I looked at the ground. Well, perhaps my Roan, who I had already spent many an hour studying, learning what I could through the Force, needed my tutoring and that way learn more about me.

I was forced away from my thoughts went the last student stepped to the testing area. I groaned silently to myself when I was the person was Nield. Of all the people, why must I be tortured with his presences? This boy was the same one who had “showed” me how to use the Force. He keep up his so called showing off in any class he could and would always put me down in a polite, but smudged way. The sad part was lightsaber class was the only subject he did better in, which could easily drive me into a furry.

He bowed deeply to all, even the masters in the back. Then, just to show off, he flurished his made up lightsaber by giving it a twist with his wrist to bring the stick to the starting position. He went through each move with a fine grace and crisp moves that brought out ohhs and ahhs from the crowed. I continued to growl underneath my breath. He slashed through the air, further pointing out his skill and leaving Roan’s pitiful show drifting in the breeze of memory. He took a step forward and a step back, if showing not just moves, but how he would use the moves in a fight. I closed my eyes, unable to stand any more of his pride. A round of claps surrounded me. This was a short lived claps when the lightsaber teacher stepped forward. A hopeful, yet fearful hush came upon us.

“Thank you all for coming here today. I would like to give a special thank you to Master Mirmo and Master Cobral for coming in today and watching you all. Now, for the question you all are so obviously wondering: Did you pass?”

I nodded and leaned forward to hear the answer better.

“ All of you have come a long way from when you first stepped into my class. You have learned how to grip and hold the lightsaber, the different angles, and what is the real story behind the sword. You all have been taught the importance of showing respect for your friend as well as your enemy and how to keep your emotions to yourself when fighting. Yet, you all are inexperienced, lacking the grace or speed that is a must in fights. You lack assurance in your moves and do not know what you can and can not do. You still fight with a day dream approach, thinking you will always win, always be more powerful. But, you all have shown me you have listened and practiced enough. There is room for improvement, more than just some for a few of your, but I am pleased to announced all of you will advanced to the next level in your education of the lightsaber.”

Cheers broke out. Hugs were exchanges and pats were patted. We had passed. It was over. I had passed. I looked over my shoulder to Mirmo, who quietly nodded, but showed nothing more. I was sure he would have a few things to say about my demonstration, but for not that could wait. Both of us had agreed on that.

Talk broke out about how we did. We all were keenly aware of our mistakes, but also of the best moves. Strangely and surprising the students had agreed that both Nield and I were the best. I hated to be compared with that brat, but all the same, I could not imagine how I was picked amoung them. The students claimed that I looked most like I was using the movements like I was in a battle. I blushed and told them about the night before. I was given looks of approval, of jealous, and of fear. I had a master. They did not. What training I was getting, they didn’t know. Now, they had seen a splinter of what Mirmo was teaching me and they wanted it too. I could not give them that and only cause more emotion so I left. I did not leave unhappy. This event had gone well. I was now one more step closer to becoming a Jedi knight.

[JediKaren]

heh...I have my fans trained...

Ok update on what's to come.

There will be two chapters coming, one will be on the history of Mirmo. Then there will be a special post about how to write a chapter so you all can see "the trick" I use....which is not trick.

[JediKaren]

A few days later, in the late evening when the whole temple had quieted down for sleep, I was still up, on the computer.

“Should not you be in bed?”

I hadn’t heard the door open because I was listening to one of songs by Blink 182. I turned my attention to him, but when he opened his mouth to speak, I held up my hand to keep him silent as I listened to the song.

This is the first (thing I remember)
Now it's the last (thing left on my mind)
Afraid of the dark (do you hear me whisper)
An empty heart (replaced with paranoia)
Where do we go (life's temporary)
After we're gone (like new years resolutions)
Why is this hard (do you recognize me)
I know I'm wrong (but I can't help believing)

I'm so lost
I'm barely here
I wish I could explain myself
But words escape me
It's too late
To save me
You're too late
You're too late

You're cold with disappointment
While I'm drowning in the next room
The last contagious victim of this plague between us
I'm sick with apprehension
I'm crippled from exhaustion
And I dread the moment when you finally come to kill me

This is the first (thing I remember)
Now it's the last (thing left on my mind)
Afraid of the dark (do you hear me whisper)
An empty heart (replaced with paranoia)
Where do we go (life's temporary)
After we're gone (like new years resolutions)
Why is this hard (do you recognize me)
I know I'm wrong (but I can't help believing)

Master Mirmo tilted his head and studied me more carefully. I sniffed once and rubbed my nose. I wasn’t crying, but my nose was running.

“Still clinging to your past?”

I nodded and then sniffed again, wishing I could get up to get my tissue box, but I was too tired to do so.

“The faster you let you, the faster you will heal. Listening to these songs may seem a good thing for it describes you perfectly, but the song only encourages you to hang onto memories that harm you.”

I asked him why then did he make me show him my memories.

“That is a good question. Up until then, I still did not have a good idea as to what had happened to you or why you were “sick with apprehension” and “crippled from exhaustion” as that song goes, I believe. Now that I know, I know you do not need to wear them like your clothes. Leave them in the past and only visit them on occasion”

I sighed and quietly sniffed again. There was a moment of silence, each person keeping and thinking to themselves. A tinkling feeling was working in my nose. The feeling kept up until I gave a loud, strong sneeze that forced me into the back of my desk chair.

“Bless you. Are you getting sick? How are you feeling?”

I sniffed again, rubbing my dripping nose on my shirt sleeve, before telling him I was fine. I just had a bit of a runny nose. One sneeze didn’t mean I was sick.

“But it is a warning sign of a cold coming. You are going to bed and getting some rest for your body. No arguments”

I gave him a slight glare, but went to bed. I would be fine. Tomorrow I would be bouncy and then attack him with a squirt gun for getting overly worried over nothing.

Unfortunately for me I was wrong when I woke up very early in the morning. My throat was a dry, sensitive desert that hurt each time I took a breath. I felt that there was some sort of endlessly firing going on back there that water would not put out or help. I groaned, painfully, as I got up from the bed to go to the refresher. My body ached and my movements showed the lack of energy the germs in me were eagerly sucking up. I barely got a tissue in time to catch the ooze coming from my nose. I blew hard, then again and still found myself sniffing. When I was done with relieving myself, I slowly dragged my sick body back to bed to sleep. Mirmo was not going to let me go anywhere except for the healer’s office, so I might as well sleep in. There was a loud knock at the door a few hours later. I tried to talk and found no sound would come out. I gave a rough cough and tried again. I manage to whisper to the door for it to open.

“How are you feeling?”

I told him I was fine. At least, that is what I wanted to say.

“I am sorry. I think I heard ‘I need to go to the healer’s office’”

I glared at him and in cracked whispered, for that is all I could produce, I said that I just needed to sleep.

“I am having trouble making out what you’re saying from the frog in your throat. I think you said you need to stay in bed with a healer looking after you”

I was about to shoot him another glare, but a violent cough took my attention away from him. Oh, this wasn’t fair. Even my parents wouldn’t have taken me to a doctor over a simple cold. In fact, I was sent to school several times running low fevers. I was touched by his caring, but he was going too far with this.

“Now, get up and come with me”

No. I was going to win this.

“Karen Nightingstar, this is an order. You are sick. You need medical attention. You need to go to a healer”

I didn’t care this was an order. I wasn’t going to get up. Just because I was sick and feeling horrible, didn’t mean he could boss me around like a child. I was twenty. By now, I should know my body and know what I needed. Our wills meet each other and clashed. I refused to back down. He refused to let me refuse an order.

“If you will not get up, then I shall bring a healer here”

Fine by me. Anyone could see this was a cold that would go away in a few days with a lot of sleep and food. If this would make him happy, then so be it. I was not going to get up.

“I will be back in a little bit. You are not to get up to get on the computer”

Gee, who did he think he was? He wasn’t my father. He was my master, but we weren’t that different in age. He was my teacher, but I was still an independent grown up and demanded to be treated like one. He wanted me to let go of my past and one way of doing that was not to remind me of my parents.

The healer came in, along with Mirmo. She had me sit up, describe how I felt, touched me with her hands and the Force and stood up.

“She is running a light fever, but there is nothing in her lungs. It looks like she had an ordinary cold. I would say sleep, lots of liquids, hot food, and a day off from classes should take care of this bug”

With that, I was given a pill to take my fever down and to help dry up my nose. The healer left Mirmo, who looked a bit disappointed that she had not agreed with how serious my condition was. He sighed and looked a bit uneasy. I croaked out a question of what was wrong with him.

“I am coming to terms with myself that I overrated with you. You know yourself best and I should have realized that. Sometimes with all your active personality, you can make yourself seem younger than you really are. I am sorry that I tried to demand something that was not reasonable. Will you forgiven me?”

I was taken back by this question. I was never apologized for being right at my home, unless I forced it out of my parents. My master looked so uncomfortable with what he had done, my heart softened and the rebellious state I had been in disappeared. I took a minute to let out a barking cough and then said I would, under one condition.

“And what is that?”

I wanted him to tell me a story. I wanted to know more about his past.

[Locke]

i just copied all of it into word and i'm gunna read it when i can at night on my laptop in my room i was wondering not to have a competition but i was wondering if it would be ok if i could start posting chapters from my book and see what people think i'm kinda stuck right now and would love input from poeple

[JediKaren]

sure...that would be cool.

[JediKaren]

“What would you like to know about me?”

I thought for a moment and sniffed my still stuffy nose. I more or less knew how Mirmo became a Jedi, but I didn’t know what he did as a Jedi for twelve years or even why he didn’t take an apprentice for so long. I told him I wanted to know what it was like to get knighted.

“Well, it was not as grand as you would think. I was in Luke’s second class that he ever taught. The first class was made up of all the masters you see now such as Kyp Durron, Corran Honrn, but he was known as Keiran halcyon back then, Mara Jade, Tionne, Kam Solusar , Kirana Ti, Streen to name a few. Luke increased the second class to twenty and I think spent a bit more time on us. I was told by the older students, we were lucky in that Luke was not making all the mistakes he had with the first group. I privately thought Luke was making plenty of mistakes, seeing how he felt more adventurous with trying out new training techniques. Still, the time we were promoted knights, we knew as much as the first class did.

Luke gathered all of us one day and looked at us each in the eye, studying our soul and power of the Force within us before announcing we were knighted by the power of the Force. It was such a quiet, solemn moment for each one of us. No one expected for this to happened that day, but we all knew in our hearts we were Jedi without a doubt. We were then asked how we would serve the galaxy as the duty of the Jedi is. A few has special talent in healing and had come in handy with all the lightsaber burns we received in practice. One decided to stay and continue to heal and teach at the academy. The other healers said they would use their talents on their planets. Some people wanted to go back to their home planet to look for more candidates for the order. Others wanted to go out and help fight the lingering battles of the New Republic against the old, losing Empire. I was still thinking when Luke turned to ask me. I had no idea what I wanted to do. Luke suggested that I go back to my home planet and see what help I could offer to the government. I agreed to his idea and made ready that same day.

I flew back to my home town to find it had not changed much. The stores were still there, the people still did the same activities, my aging parents still could barely pay the bills, yet everything seemed different. The usual talk seemed bland and quite ignorant of the truth. The people will ruder than ever, not caring if they drove away business. The buildings had a shabbier look, and I notice how poor some of the people really were. What I later came to realize it was not the town or the people that had changed, but myself. My time among the Jedi had broaden my knowledge of the galaxy. Things that I had been taught were proven wrong. I learned I had a very narrow view of the galaxy. I assumed everyone should shun me out and not bother to look at me. I expected very little conversation, or if there was, it would be nasty gossip. I realized this was how life worked in my town. This realization was more prominent when I came back to my town.

I had hoped that I could raise some awareness and support for the new Jedi order in my town, but that was a short lasting hope. The people grew more distant from me then when I first lived there. Even the bullies, who use to beat me up for fun, would not dare to approach me. They all feared me and what I stood for. By listening in a dark corner of many pubs, I learned they all feared me because of what the Emperor had done to the Jedi reputation. It seemed that the Emperor worked long and hard to show the old order in a horrible light, saying they stole young Jedi to train them as killers, making the young Jedi think they were protectors of the galaxy. The Emperor used this excuse to encourage the population to turn in any Jedi or families of Jedi the people knew of. In order to bring back the Jedi into the life of the galaxy, I knew I would first have to prove this image wrong by being an example, the true example of what a Jedi is.

My work was excruciatingly slow with many annoying set backs. I decided to show the people the Jedi were the protector of justice and peace by helping out the law enforcers. I could easily stop a thief, but when the police came to the scene, I was pushed away, without any credit or even a simple thank you, and told to mind my own business. I tracked murders and mysteries, but when I got close to solving or finding the guy that did it, the police strongly encouraged me to stop, before I was put in jail. The people of the town seemed to side with the police, reinforcing the negative idea of the Jedi. I had nearly lost all hope when a year went by and I still received glares or calls from people on the street. The money Luke gave me to get started was running low, and I was quite tempted to hire myself as a person bodyguard, but a Jedi does not get paid with credits for his work and I knew this all too well. I was running out of ideas of how to restore faith in the Jedi, when I spotted an old lady shouting angrily and waving her arms in the direction of a young man, zipping through the crowd, holding a black bag under his arm. I knew if I caught him, I would only be chided by the lady for interfering, but my Jedi sense would not let me ignore this call for help. I ran, using the Force to slow the man and cause him to trip, and pinned him to the ground. I bounded his hands and feet before returning to the old lady with her bag. I handed her the bag and turned around, about to quickly walk away from the scene before the police could find out what had happened. I felt a strong hand on my arm, stopping me from taking another step. I looked up to see the lady holding onto my arm, and tugging me closer to quietly say something to me that would change my life.

“Thank you, my young friend. It is good to see a fellow Jedi trying to restore order in a world of chaos”