Reaching Through Darkness

[JediKaren]

Ch 21
Karen

There was nothing to see in the opaque darkness of wherever I was. The air stank of something my foggy brain couldn’t begin to describe. By the echoing of the room caused by my quick, loud breathing, the room was rather vacant and large. There was no other sound than my breathing to indict someone else was here. My skin crawled and my mind reeled. I found my hands shaking uncontrollable along with the rest of my body. The silence, loneliness, and lack of light were terrifying, but nothing was worse than my served connection to the Force. To lose one’s connect to the Force was to go blind, dumb, and deaf, and have one’s arms and legs cute off all at once. The feeling was devastating.

I couldn’t sense. I couldn’t feel. I didn’t know where the walls were. I was scared to move because I didn’t know if I would walk into something. My closer to nine than eight years of training were useless in this situation. I had spent so much time and effort training and drilling into my mind not to pain because I had and could use the Force when all else failed me. I wanted to laugh at the proud voice telling me to breathe, relax and open myself to the powerful, luminous energy. As far as I could tell, curled up into a painful ball of fear, the force didn’t exist, yet strangely enough I did.

My mind whirled, looking for answer to questions that couldn’t be answered at that time. I calmed down my screaming mind enough to find the strength and courage to stand up and take one step forward. Immediately my foot hit something hard that made a lot of sound and I uttered several curses. At that exact moment the lights overhead came on, flooding my vision with agonizing, blinding multicolor whiteness. For a full minute I stood paralyzed, unable to center my scattered through from the whirl wind they had been thrown into. Through the white haze I saw a bare, black metal room. My gaze followed a half flight of narrow metal stairs to a darker platform with a single chair with its back turned towards me. With no where else to go I moved forwards to mount the stairs. The scene was entirely too much like the Emperor’s quarters, where Master Skywalker witness the death of the Emperor. Surely the Emperor under a different person wasn’t back? The chair slowly turned around, showing the owner.

The man before me was not the Emperor, but a middle build, shocking blond man. I guessed he was in his mid thirties. His ice blue eyes sent shivers down my spine. There was a chilling coolness about him. I couldn’t feel anything from him without my Force abilities, but I still knew how to read a person. The dark side, from what my experience taught me, flowed through him like freezing, deathly river, leaving a trail of cool steel determination. His voice, cool and smooth, made all the warmth and hope leave my body in a hurry.

“Welcome Karen Nightingstar. Do you like my reconstructed Emperor’s throne room?”

I did not like it at all, but that did not need to be said. I more wanted to know who he was and why I was here. His false smile grew at my silence.

“Why so quiet? You had so much to saw to my apprentice at the ball.”

I winced. I was pretty sure he was referring to his sith apprentice, thus making my romantic lover my enemy. Yet, Master Skywalker would have known about this sith, wouldn’t he?

“Oh you thought I didn’t know who you are. I’m afraid you are mistaken. Once you ran after one my spies pretending to be a pity theft it was not so hard to floor you and your master. Yes, when my spy reported finding a lightsaber, I knew right then, the two of you were Skywalker’s famous Jedi.”

I stood there shocked by what I was hear.

“Don’t stand there with that dumb expression my dear. It’s unbecoming of you.”

Who was this…sith? He was evil, but not in the same way I expected a dark lord to be. His smile vanished and he waved his hand as to shoo a jungle nat from his face.

“Enough with this trivial chatter. We have far more important matters to talk about. Let us begin with your training.”

Training? Whatever he had in mind, I wanted none of it. In fact, all I really wanted was to be able to think clearly. My mind and body begged for the Force. I also needed him to leave me alone so I cough figure out how to get our of this prison.

“There is no point in trying to escape my apprentice. No one will ever find you. Not ever your puny master. We are quite safe from the Jedi or anyone who could track you through the Force. I see the panic in your eyes. I see your body twitch. You can not use the Force can you? The withdraw experience is hard isn’t it?”

The smile of sweet power came back. Then man pressed a button on the arms of his great metal chair and from the floor raised a small table containing a cage. Inside the cage was a furred with scaled and beady eyes creature. I was given a good look before the blond man with his pale skin explained what it was.

“Admire the match of all Jedi, apprentice. This here is an ysalamiri, the living reason why you can’t touch your precious Force.”

The animal looked pitiful being trapped in a basic, cruel cage. My heart went for the creature who was in a situation much like mine. The man pressed the same button again and the caged reptile disappeared back into the floor.

“Your training will start without the use of the Force. We will start with the most important part: your start of being.”

I held up my hand to pause him in his boosting ego lecture. I demanded to know who he was and where was I at the galaxy.

“My identity means nothing to your training; nor does knowing your location. Do not interrupt me again.”

I asked him if I couldn’t escape what harm did it do to either of us for me to know. His cool smile got chiller with my question.

“Clever, but not clever enough. I am your mast and you are in your master’s room. Do not have me repeat myself again, apprentice. Now let us continue to discuss your mind.”

There was a hint of deadly anger in his eyes. Then it cleared as if it never existed. This scared me more than not having the Force. I was trapped with an evil man, possible a sith or dark Jedi.

“Your mind should be focused on me at all times. You will put forth you truest and deepest emotions to your conscious and study them in great detail.”

So far he sounded like one on my teachers back at the temple. Did sith teach this sort of stuff? I wasn’t sure. My search in the dark side’s thinking wasn’t much?

“You will notice how these emotions effect you in how you thin, talk, breathe, eat, and react to the world around you. You will notice how these emotions, these pity, weak feelings control you and your life. Do not let this happen. Mere feelings should have no control over you. Conquer them by recognizing them and then you can begin to focus your mind.”

This was not the teaching of the Jedi, but then again, not something I would expect from a sith. I decided to test his identity with a question of peace.

“Peace is a feeling. A feeling is chemicals being produced and reacting with others. The Jedi spent so much wasted time on letting peace control them. Do not waste time with me.”

Well he was not a fan of the Jedi for sure. I told him that peace lead to a focused mind, so why not be peaceful?

“Because the amount of effort to put into achieving a feeling is too much for the short lasted outcome. Have no emotion. Exist without feeling. Detachment is the key to the universe.”

Key to the universe, that almost sounded like key power to the universe, making him part of the dark side. I rubbed my head. There was a throbbing at the base of my skull due to the withdraw from the Force. If I could just feel the Force for one second I would think a lot clearer. I could see through the maze of words and hidden messages this creepy, slippery man was throwing me. He caught me thinking again and gave me another spine chilling smile.

“Listen, don’t think, my dear. Soon you will understand who I am as you keep trying to think about.”

Somehow that didn’t comfort me in the slightest. I thought about my master. He seemed so far away, lost in a sea of light and hope, while I drifted, blindly at the murky forgotten depths.

[snowind]

I don't think that guy is a sith... I remember Palpatine telling anakin to use his anger... that anger is good, if I remember it correctly that is... so without emotion isn't a sith either right?

[JediKaren]

Ch 22
Mirmo

“Gone? Whoa, slow down Mirmo. She was here just a minute ago. She could not have gone far. She must have seen someone and could not have told you before she left.”

I wanted to believe him so badly. I wanted to think Karen was just a few hallways away. I wanted to believe she was safe. The trouble was the Force did not back up any of these theories. The horrible truth was the Force me my apprentice was no where to be found. IT was like I could not sense her Force signature at all which meant two things. She was shielding her self or she was unconscious. She had been successful at shielding against me before, but I could see no logic in why she would do such a thing. Therefore Karen had been captured and was drugged as she was carried off and that was why I did not hear her high pitch scream behind me. Was she beaten or worse, taken advantage of? Such thoughts made me mentally race in panic.

“Mir? Buddy?”

Nea’s worried voice broke through my circling thoughts and brought me back to solid ground.

“Have you tried to contact her?”

I told him yes. There was the first thing I did when I notice she was gone.

“Hmm. I would suggest we go looking for her, but I do not think we could get very far with just the two of us and the Force not helping you. I am going to contact Ven and have him send his men over to search the building. Maybe they can find something the Force of yours can not.”

At any other time I would have snorted at the Force failing where men succeed. Yet, I was desperate to find my apprentice. Nea’s eyes narrowed with suspicion.

“We will find her. She will be ok.”

I nodded silently and gave him the code to Ven’s comn link. I wondered how Nea could act so calmly and together. To lose Karen was like losing a daughter I never had. I was responsible for her safety and I had failed miserably. Ten minutes later Ven and one of his best dressed men joined us in the hallway, not far where Karen disappeared. He quietly reinsured us his men were furiously working through the building, looking for her or a clue to where she was carried off. I retold him all the details leading up to my apprentice absence. Ven held his chin with chin left hand, thinking hard.

“May I see that data pad? It might have a clue you all did not spot.”

Vent read the information so fast; I wondered how much he was taking in.

“By any chance have you seen this young man?”

I paused before answering. In my mind, I saw the gentle, pale hand of the dark haired man hold her head, deeply kissing Karen. Their passion for each other seemed real at the time. She welcomed his touch, as if asking for more. He held her with such care and honor, like she was a beautiful, fragile thing. I wondered if this was the same man. Was he the one who swished her so sneakily? Perhaps they had made plans to meet up and get to know each other better? Would Karen do such a thing without confiding me? She did try to hide her crush on Roan from me. It hurt to think I had not gained her trust after all we had been through. I shook my head and answered Ven by telling him of the man that had kissed Karen so tenderly.

“He may well be the one, but that is not enough information to arrest him on. I suggest we track this mysterious figure and see if we can question him about his doings.”

Ven was interrupted by the arrival of two of his men.

“Dawner Ven, we have managed to secure a holo cam and have seen two medics carrying an unconscious young woman that looked much like Danwer Mirmo’s girl. There was a tall figure, dressed in white with blond hair following them. The only clip we were able to find was them entering a docking bay on the west side on the twenty first floor. We were not able to enter the flight records of the docking computer.”

Ven nodded.

“Very good. I will take over from here. Your next assignment is to find any information about this blond man. Be secret about your method. We do not want the senate getting word of our search.”

The men put their fist to their forehead, slightly bowed their heads, and left.

“See Mirmo what I have trained my men to be?”

I nodded but did not respond. In my day, they would have hacked into the computer before coming to me. Ven held more power and pride than I did and I did not like that. Nea grunted to break the silence.

“Alright men, let us find Karen before Mirmo loses his Jedi calm.”

“Right. I say we go to the docking bay computer and see what it can tell us about this man and where he is going.”

Ven lead the way to the twenty first floor and contacted the flight manager. The manager was a fat, dumpy man who did everything slowly. He walked slowly, talked slowly, even blinked slowly. He was not one to be bothered with our trivial request and was stubborn about letting us peak at the flight record.

“That is right gentlemen. My orders to only hand over the records to my manager and you are not my manager. So if you will excuse me sirs, I have to get back to my station. If you want, you can talk to my manager, but I would not advise it. He is a grumpy man who will throw you out the moment you walk in.”

This slow man was pushing my tolerance. He would not stand in my way of finding my apprentice when she was in real danger. I stepped forward and dipped my head down to his squat height. I whispered him I was recording everything he said and would report this to my boss who was best friends with the Chancellor, who was fully supporting this search. I asked him who he would like to report the bad news to if he did let give us the records. His eyes slowly grew wide with shock and he stumbled back to door.

“Well if you put it that way, it would not hurt for you to just look quickly and keep this to yourself.”

I wondered how many more times I could use Leia’s support like this before she would get word. The three of us, plus the manager entered his small station. I sat down and accessed the records. As I read through the log, my heart fell. According the computer, there were two ships that left in the last twenty minutes from the bay and the one who looked like belonged to the blond man had a license with no ship number. The ship itself was a common, plain one with no identifying marking or other ways to separate it from millions of others flying all over the galaxy. I got up from the chair and walked out of the crowded room to pace in an empty hallway. I would never forgive myself if Karen was harmed. I tried to reason with myself that Karen could not be dead. It was depressing thought, but if Karen had died, I would have been in far more agony that I was already.

[JediKaren]

Warning: This chapter contains suggestions of adult material.

Ch 23
Karen

The need to scream was overwhelming. I needed the Force like a druggie needed their daily drug. I needed to fell the universe. I needed to know what lay beyond these dark metal walls that trapped me with a crazy, confusing man. Furthermore, I needed him to shut up.

“You will find an attached mind, one addicted to the meaningless emotions, is easy to see through, leaving the being weak and controllable. Therefore it is your utmost propriety to control your own mind so not to be taken advantage of. The mind of many is weak, an internal mess with no self awareness and a near instinctual fear to look inward. If you are to complete your training, my dear, you need to overcome this fear and rise to a higher level of conscious power.”

He, the pale faced, blond man with a boring, ugly face and a too big nose, had been going on like this for ten minutes. His speech was pointless and confusing. At times I caught a hint of him talking about the dark side and then he would switch to a point that sounded like the light side. He did not seem to be a Jedi or sith, but something in between, leading me to questioning ends. He spoke not of the Force, but only of energy, never giving the energy a name. The lecture seemed to center around the mind and letting go of my emotions. I had no interest in letting go all emotions. I had enough trouble calming my wild rebellious mind to a peaceful state. Trying to let go of all my emotions would be impossible under these conditions.

“If your mind is like the rest of the Jedi I have had the misfortune to encounter, there is internal whirlwind just beyond your primary conscious that your master has trained you to ignore and only focus on unachievable peace. You will never be truly be peaceful the way your teachers dream of being. You can only confront the whirlwind and vanish it from your mind, leaving the mind free of all distractions and thus ready to focus. A focused mind is far more powerful than all the Force combined.”

Like a trained dog I nearly started drooling at the mention of the Force. My mind repeatedly stretched out to find nothing around me. I could barely focus on what he had to say due the nagging, panic feeling inside of me screaming something was horribly wrong. If he would just send me away, I could-

“Enough with your silent begging, apprentice! I grow tired of your wondering eyes and twitching hands. Stop your everlasting whining for your puny powers. They mean nothing and will continue to mean nothing unless you learn what I have to teach you. Your need to feel a world you can not understand is childish and I will not stand a child!”

He finally showed some anger and impatience with me. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing, but at least he gave me some power over him. He broke his own teachings by letting his emotions conquer him, showing a weakness to me. He presented himself to be a master of something and I only a meek student, but I now knew he was not all powerful. Even without the Force, I still knew enough about emotions to know how to manipulate them to my advantage. The nameless man had collected himself again to present a cold, emotionless state of being. He pressed another button on his chair and leaned over slightly to talk into it.

“Send up the boy and the anti Force kit.”

The anti Force kit? That sounded like something he was going to do to keep the Force away from me. There went my plan to relieve my craving. I was not given long to wonder before the “boy” came in from a hidden black door. I instantly recognized the boy to be my romantic kisser from the night before. I had only recognized him from his face, the rest of him had completely changed. He was dressed in all black, blending perfectly well with the bleak background. He carried a small black box that I presumed was the anti Force hit up the sets, pass me, and handed it to the blond man. The blond man opened the box, peered in, but did not take anything out. He then looked up from the box and smiled at me in an eerie fashion.

“Secure her.”

My dark kisser had retreated behind me in a noiseless manner and took me by complete surprise when he expertly grabbed my arms behind my back and with a swift foot, brought me painfully to my knees. I was held tightly, given no room to struggle from his grip. The blond man approached me with a needle taken from the box that was full of yellow liquid. The blond man grabbed my hair, pulling my hand to my right shoulder to expose my neck. He stuck the needle into the base of my neck and waited for the liquid to enter my body. I closed my eyes in pain as the needle was drawn slowly out. A tiny stream of blood dribbled down my chest and onto my beautiful blue shirt.

“You may take her away Romness, and do what you wish to her. I will call for her when I ready to continue her lessons.”

So Romness was my kisser’s name. Romness pulled my painful up to my feet with my hands still behind my back. I was lead down the steps and out of the room. The hallway we entered was stark white in contrast to the black room. I could hardly see as my eyes adjusted to the bright white of the floor, walls, and ceiling. I was roughly pushed along. My stomach started hurting with intense pain and my body cramped up suddenly. I found myself unable to breathe in shock. I had stopped momentarily and Romness pushed me again, causing me to fall painfully on my bruised knees. The fall was too much and I threw up on this white pristine floor. He growled at me to get up and picked my limp body again. How could this be the same man as the one I spent an hour dancing the night away with? He had been so smooth, so careful in everything he did. He was charming, smart, and funny. Now he was treating me with was much care as a sack of mush grain. He had no grace or manners. He dragged my weak and sick body through the blank white halls and stopped at an unidentifiable door. Maybe he was taking me to a healer? I was wrong. I was shoved into the room and the door slid shut.

I curled up into a sick ball of pain. My head was exploding in unknown agony. What had been done to me? Was that drug injected me suppose to destroy my mind? It certainly felt like it. I managed to roll on my other side to take a look at the room. There was a large white bed, a table with a lamp, and nothing else. Maybe I was sent here to recover? I talked myself to slowly crawl to the bed and haul my body on the mattress. The soft covers and good mattress felt so good. My mind went blank as my body gave up.

I must have fallen asleep because I woke up with a start. A sound had woken up me. I opened my eyes to find Romness in my room. My body was still weak, damp with sweat from a fever. He came to the end of the bed. His eyes were dark and cruel. They traveled up and down my body, resting between my legs. I pulled my legs together and close my body to give him the universal sign. He gave me a slight, hungry smile and then proceeded to strip off his shirt and climb up on the bed. I shivered in fear, knowing what was going to happen.

“Now you are mine. You will serve me well.”

His smile that had wooed me at the dance now sent streams of pure fear through my body. His voice was a deep instinctual one, full of power and manhood. He crawled closer until he was on top of my body. I closed my eyes and tried my hardest to blank my mind out as his hand touched my body.

[shaamansu]

:)Wow, you have a way of keeping the reader riveted. I call the books such as you write...page turners and be prepared to stay up all night reading...LOL

[Fearn]

My little brother loves Star Wars and he as shelves and shelves of books written by author who have nothing to do with Star Wars.

You really might want to think about talking to a publisher about getting this published (when it's done).

[JediKaren]

lol maybe you should print this out and give it to him as a present...I can even give you a edited version.

[JediKaren]

Ch 24
Mirmo

"Hey Mirmo, we need you to hand in there."

I blinked. Nea’s voice seemed to be distance among the thousands of organized thoughts that flew around in my head in crazy patters. What he said did not matter. I knew where I had to go.

"Ven says he has a lead on the blond guy. He calls himself 'The Master'. The dark hair young man works for him, but we are working on his name. It seems they have had a hand in the senate for numerous years. The first sign of activity we can uncover as of now was from right after the Emperor died. There may be a connection there, but we are not sure. There are no records about them before then."

Nea hesitated before going on. My mind slightly tuned more into the meaning of his words. I knew whatever else he had to report would not be good. Nea only hesitates when he knows the truth is going to hurt me.

"Buddy, I have nothing to back this up, but I think we are dealing with a sith."

My lungs greedily sucked the fresh, cool air of the senate building. My mind flat out refused to believe the idea. Karen could not be in the hands of a sect that brought so much destruction for twenty years. Luke would have warned me. No, Nea was wrong. The Force did not back up his claim. I needed to do my own research and stop letting others do it for me. I turned around and started to walk out the senate building.

"Mirmo, where are you going?"

I told him I had my own lead and wanted to-

"Wait just a sec buddy. Let me tell Ven and I will come with you."

Alone. If things did not go the way I wanted them to, I might be forced into taking actions I did not want to expose to Nea. I might have trained to be a Jedi for a good ten years, but I grew up in a non Jedi world, as a normal citizen and knew a non Jedi's life.

I walked through the walk ways that linked the buildings together and made it possible for me never to need an expensive air taxi. I took several air lifts down until I was back to the slums of Cornanuant. I found myself strangely relaxed in the crime ridden streets of the poor. Perhaps it was because the dangers of life that were easily seen here than in the maze of rich, but sneaky senators. I knew death of myself and others could be seeked at ever corner here of the dark allys and found the boldness of blasters, held by simpler people more re ensuring than the confusing and misleading words and rules senators used to shoot you down. Here instinct was the name of the game and a game I knew how to play well.

My journey stopped at the bar where the meeting with the crime lords was held. I strolled into a nearly empty and dirty bar and went straight to the manager. Using few words and a hand on my lightsaber I got the current location of main criminal lord. I picked up my trail from the bar and traveled close to a gray, old building with one side slowly crumbling that supposedly held answer to my desperate questions. I circled the building, traveled up a few more streets, and sampled a few sleazy shops to get an idea of what the neighborhood was like, as well as look out for anyone looking for me. I was more than willing to bet my lightsaber I was being watched, but I was not sure by who. Of course the boss would have been notified of my presence and waiting for me to make my entrance, but who ever kidnapped my Jedi apprentice knew something about Jedi and should be watching me like a nexu patiently watches their prey in the shadows of the jungle. There were no obvious signs that could be observed in such a fashion as to not give myself away I seemed to be relatively safe, not that I did not know how to defend myself.

I approached the dull, aged building with caution, leaving my hands in easy reach of my lightsaber, but in an open manner to show I was not to be seen as a threat. I stopped at the old, thick wooden door, and waited for something to happen. If the door was opened, I was welcomed and would not have to worry about being shot. If the door did not open, well, the door was going to open one way or another. Karen’s life was far more important than some slime of the streets worried about his childish drug business and safety. Luckily for them, I was not made to wait long. A battered blaster appeared first as the old heavy door creaked opened. The tall, muscular man holding the weapon made it clear. He would shoot me in a heart beat if I caused trouble and no one would think twice about it. I bowed my head, thanking him for this warning, and to signal I meant no harm to anyone He lowered the blaster, but kept it expertly trained on me as he stepped aside to let me in.

The hall that I stepped into was a dusty, dim lighten room that had been once glorious, but had been neglected and leave to rot away. I was not given time to look around at the sad setting, but motioned with the shooting end of the blaster to proceed up creaking old wooden stairs. We stopped at the third floor where my guard unlocked the door with a very outdated metal key, slipping into a metal hole and twisting the key. It was a very interesting show to watch, seeing how I had not seen a key and lock combination anywhere except in museums. There was a loud click coming from the door and with a twist of a shiny knob, the door swung open to reveal a fabulously rich room. The blaster poked my arm to alert my attention to come in. I walked in and immediately noticed the boss from the meeting on my left sitting lazily in a chair by an old fashion brick fire place. I had no idea a gang lord could be so fascinated about ancient technology that had not been seen anywhere for several hundred years.

“Admiring my love of the old ways, Master Mirmo?”

I turned to my left and studied the man before me. He was dressed in rich, comfortable clothes, meant to be lounged in. He had a wine glass in his left hand and a plate of cookies on a near by rare red wood table. His face was relaxed, but his eyes saw through me. He motioned me to sit in a over stuffed chair opposite of his and next to the roaring fire.

“I would think being a Jedi, you would have an appreciation for the old ways of life, seeing how you Jedi are determined to live in the past.”

I asked him what he meant by that. He laughed and took a sip of his wine before answering.

“It is quite simple. You Jedi have trained the same way, done the same job, and resist anything new for a thousand years. I almost had hope when Luke first popped out of no where. I had foolishly hoped he would see through his old mentor’s ways and start something fresh, something productive that was not doomed to die, but it was a self deceiving hope. Perhaps it is the Force to blame, sending you down the same path that gets the universe no where.”

I asked him if he had no hope for the Jedi, why he allowed me to take care of his problems.

“Ah, you bring up a question that many would wonder. True, I had little hope for your success, but I did not give the assignment for your silly cause. I gave it to your apprentice, who came off as someone different. You Jedi think only you all can use the Force and read people, but that is hardly so. The reason why I am here, sitting where I am and controlling the person I control, is due to my ability to read people and know who to put under my control. Your apprentice strikes me as a girl who did not grow up as a typical Jedi or even what most people call normal. She sees a different world that any of does and I believe she may be the hope of the future. But this is all relative and has no meaning now that she has been captured.”

For once in my life, I failed to cover the shock that I felt rip through me. I had come here thinking he was holding my apprentice as a threat. I had come here with my lightsaber in hand, ready to kill him if that what it took to get back my apprentice. His voice held a level of disappoint, with a hint of a sigh, and a gleam of sorrow in his eye. I knew right then and there he did not have my apprentice, nor was responsible for her disappearance. I asked him to expand on what he knew of the situation.

“I had one of my spies keep an eye on your activities to know exactly how you were going about this mission. For a while I thought you really could solve this when you did not falter under the glaze of the senator, yet my spy reported another two spies was spying on you. You seemed to know something about one spy, but not the other. My feelings warned me of severe danger surrounding you. I ordered that the two of you be watched more carefully and if need be take action to protect your apprentice who was blind to the whole situation. You made a mistake not telling her what to do if someone tried to kidnap her. Unfortunately for all of us, our kidnappers were far cleverer than I expected them to be and managed to whisk your apprentice away despite all efforts to stop them. I must say that Luke Skywalker could work a bit more on his Jedi. He is hardly at the low standard the last order was and look at what happened to them.”

I grinded my teeth in frustration. He was wasting my time standing here and insulting all the careful work I had done. My ego had already suffered enough and I did not appreciate him tear what little was left just to boost his. I turned around much like the way I did to Nea and took one step.

“Still, the girl is pretty and I would hate to see her looks taken advantage. I have had my spies research some information that might be valuable to you if you are willing to accept my command in this operation to find her.”

I stopped and stood still thinking. I did not trust the man, nor liked him in any other way. There were few who gained my ability to submit to their command and here was a man who had cornered me in less than ten minutes. My dislike for him rose rapidly.

“If you do as I say without question or straying from orders, I offer all my riches and resources to you that are needed to find her and bring her back. Take it now because I will not open this deal again nor will I spend any energy finding her if you decline.”

The begging feeling to plunge my green blade into him was tremendous, but in the other hand I saw the scared eyes of my dear apprentice and took a breath. I took another deep healing breath and brushed back the calling of the dark side. Killing him would do me or my apprentice any good and would waste more precious time. I breathed deeply and slowly the way I have lectured Karen endlessly to and turned around to face my enemy and only hope. The man smiled an easy smile.

“Good. See what I mean about being able to control people? But let us not waste time. Sit down and I will tell you all that has been found.”

[JediKaren]

Ch 25
Karen

His moves were rough, fast, and without a care in the world about the pain he caused. I was his beast to grab and control. My weakened body could do nothing to stop him. I fought and I tried to crawl away from him, but that only made him more aggressive. He did not just sexually attack me, but physically and verbally. He coolly whispered how I was weak, how he took my strength and controlled me just as any women should be. HE bragged about how he won me over with that little smooth act he pulled on me. He lovely explained how a simple kiss is all it took as he savagely plunged into me. He challenged me to fight him and win my freedom and laughed when I could do nothing but whimper in pain and cry in fear. He seemed to determine to take my soul, my body, and my virginity. When he was done with his torture he left me nearly unconscious on the bed and I stayed immobile for a solid forty eight hours.

It would be easy to say that Romness broke my spirit, but he did much more than that. He took my privacy and my self-worth. Shame built up like a wave growing in the ocean to crash upon the innocent and sweet shores of a sandy beach. My body was shattered far worse than the disastrous trip to the sith temple on Yavin four. Cuts, scraps, bruises, and rashes could be easily taken care of and wounded skin could be made new again with the miracle of bacta, but the violation of my body was not erasable.

What kept me more paralyzed than the shame of my weakness was the fear that ate within me. I feared for my life, my future, and even my past. I was heavily tormented by one memory. My sister and I were talking to each other about our parent’s past and about my poor abused and suppressed mother. My sister, through tears and shaking, told me she knew my mom had been raped by my father. She had no legal proof, but she knew. It was not a huge shock to me, but it caused the sorrow and pain within me to grow. I had put away that information, blocked the emotions that were attached to that fact, and had all but forgotten the horrible event had happened up until now. The words rapped and mom attacked me millions of time a minute. I could not get the voice of my sister out of my head. I had come to the temple, to the Jedi to separate myself from my family and their past. I swore to myself I would not dare get into a situation that lead to repeating my mother’s past. I had failed, again.

I had not gone insane despite all that had happen. I sternly told a wailing, depressed child like voice that this was not my fault and I should not blame myself. That voice bemoaned the fact that I should have been more careful when in the boring halls of the senate. I knew there was danger in our future. The voice scorned me with I should have had been more open to the Force and heed any warnings I felt. Yet I knew better. The Force, even after decades of training, was hard to listen to and even harder to understand and follow its meaning. There was no way for me to know I would be surprised and taken away. I could not have fought someone who was an expert of controlling women and then foreseen the drug injected into me. I had tried to defend myself even when it was hopeless. I had done all I could and it was simply horrible luck that made life the way it was. My sane Jedi self reminded me I was not my mother, nor repeating her past. I told myself all this as many times as my fears spoke to me, yet I could not get myself to move.

The third worst feeling that pounded me was loneness. I craved for a person, a safe, sane, gentle and caring figure to hold me and tell me things would be ok. In truth, I cried silently for my master. He was the only man in my life that I felt like I could share the secret of the universe with him and trust him to keep them to himself. Yet he was so far away, so distance and with the certainly of safety and love. I had fallen into a void of darkness, a black nothingness lacking hope. If he was here, his arms around me in a tender hug, softly telling me things I already was telling myself, I might be able to move.

I had finally fallen asleep after two days staring at the blank wall when the door opened. I barely turned my head, the biggest motion I had made for hours. Romness in his black clothes strode in with his eyes blazing and a smile that made me want to punch him flashed at me. He became more serious, stopping not far from the door.

“Get up fem scum. Get up and obey your master’s orders for more lessons.”

I wasn’t sure what he meant by master. He very well could have been referring to himself. I stayed still on the bed and glared at him. He frowned slightly.

“If you wish to stay where you are, I can still make use of your pitiful, embarrassing weak body. In fact, it will be my pleasure.”

I snarled at him and forced myself off the bed. The time spent trapped in the room gave my body a chance to recover from the effects of the drug. I wavered on my feet, trying to find strength to walk.

“What? Going to faint at the sight of me? How charming I must be, but let us not waste time, unless you want to satisfy me.”

I said nothing, refusing to give him anything to feed on. The anger within me that had been quietly growing without my notice flared up, bringing strength into my legs. I walked past him and out the room. He silently followed me and led me back to the darkest room I ever knew.

[snowind]

Hey very dark chapters here J.K. But good never the less, keep it up

[JediKaren]

Ch 26
Mirmo

I sat at the console of the small ship that the drug lord had provided me, to keep track of me as he put it. I could not get myself to move and start flying. The dark hanger seemed to welcome my depression and fearful thoughts. It was too easy, too addicting just to sit in the darkness of my ship and let my mind grope around and moan about the pain I was in. I berated myself for uselessly sitting, moping around like an emotional teenager. I told myself this was not the way I was trained. I was trained to act. If I did not know how to act, I was to research how and then do it. If my emotions held me back, then I with as to take an hour to meditate the pain and doubt away, and get myself into motion. Sitting here would do no one good.

I knew what to do, how to do it, and why. There was no reason for my self doubt. The key to fighting fear was knowledge and I had plenty of that. The boss, or so he liked to be called, gave me plenty of information about the location of where my apprentice was being kept, why, who was keeping her, and an idea of how this all related to the case I was looking into before things fell apart. Yet all the same I found myself glued to the chair.

My mind explored the properties of depression as excuse to keeping moaning. The word failure rang through my mind over and over, hitting me with horrible pain. I had failed my apprentice and I wondered if she would ever forgive me if she was still alive. I tried to reach out to the Force for answers, but my attempt was half done and merely a try. I failed to feel and hear the wisdom of the Force. There seemed nothing I could do right. I mused if I could even manage to find Karen before it was too late.

My eye caught a flicker of light on the consol. I lifted my head and saw the source of the light came from the music player. I pressed the play button and was surprised to hear Nea’s voice.

“Hey Mirmo, you are way to easy to track buddy. You might want to work on that if you want to find Karen. Anyway, I was lurking through your ship borrowed from the Jedi, and I saw this music filed labeled Karen’s Music. I thought when you find her you might play this for her. Her taste in music is not all that bad. You can find me back in my apartment, waiting for you to come back. May the Force be with you.”

I pause the file and listened to the silence of the cabin. My heart cried out with words of fear and pain. Nea had such high hopes for me. He was not angry at me for letting this happen, nor has lost any faith in me. Was he blind? Could he not see that I as Jedi, had failed all my training? Or did he see something I could not? I knew logically depression blinds a person, twisting their perspective on reality, making them believe something that was not reality. Had that happened to me? I reached out and pressed the play button again, wondering what songs Karen had in this file.

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

And there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breath again

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

The soft glow of the introduction caught my attention. The flowing notes circled around my broken heart and lifted me to a level of peace and hope I had not known for some days. The words pierced my heart with truth. This was a song Karen listened to, probably when alone and upset. She must have found ever lasting comfort in, I guess, picturing me holding her sobbing body. She had trusted me to be there, not to leave her alone, and take her in at her lowest point. Surely, I was no different from her. I too was all alone, with the galaxy against me, and my heart racing at an insane pace. I needed her as much as she needed me.

I sat up from my hunched position and started pressing buttons to get the ship ready for take off. The hanger doors open, bringing in raw, bright sunlight that shone through the thick glass of the view port. I felt the warm rays light my face and reminded me what warmth felt like. My heart soared further than before and I knew there was a twinkle in my eyes.

I commed the control center for permission to take off, using the boss’s special code so my identity could remain anonymous. I was granted permission and the ship lifted off the ground, gently gliding through the dark hanger and into the light. My eyes squinted as the slowly sinking sun blinded me with its strong light. In that moment, I felt a very small flicker of Karen’s presence call out to me through the Force. I reached out desperately to locate her or even to find out something about her condition, but the cry fell silent as if it did not exist. My heart did not fall, but rise in a new hope of a newly realized fact. Karen was alive.

[snowind]

It's a good desperation post, shows a lot about Mirmo's character

[JediKaren]

Ch27
Karen

I was roughly pushed and kicked all the way to the entrance of the door of the creepy guy’s room. I wanted to fight back, but I felt it was useless. There was no point in starting a fight I could not win and would just be killed at the end. The best thing I could do was to keep my anger to myself and just take his insults. He pulled on my hair, yanking my head back with a painful force that stopped me at the door.

“I said stop you stupid woman!”

He slapped me hard across my checks, forcing my head to hurt from the inpact. My face stung as my nerves screamed at me. I wanted to touch the place he smacked me, but I knew I would have to be strong and show no weakness. My eyes flared with boiling anger. I wanted to punch him so badly.

“Calm down my ugly whore. Our master does not tolerate anger very well and it would not do to anger him.”

Several nasty, rude insults came to my mind and it took all my inner strength not to spit them at Romess. I glared at him and he glared harder at me. He raised his hand as a threat and I dropped my eyes. I couldn’t win against him. I was in a position of total weakness. I hated it more than anything in the galaxy, even more than my father.

He commed in the voice box next to the door, saying he had brought me and the door slid open. He gestured for me to go in first. I had a fleeting thought about running right then, but decided I could not get away with it. So, without any other alternative, I walked into the nightmarish room.

I had forgotten how dark the room was. There was hardly any light to see the black walls and what lay in the shadows. The small staircase was vaguely light up so to direct one’s attention to the throne like chair. I hesitated, with my heart pounding in fear, looking upward. There was an odd coldness in the room, like all life had been sucked out, making my throat feeling constricted. I was suddenly pushed forward from behind and stumbled to the base of the stairs. I walked up the stairs with my whole body shivering. I could feel the lack of the Force in the room and the terrifying feeling of being left stripped of my senses. I stopped after taking a few more steps from the top of the stairs and stared at the ground, unable to meet the eyes of who I did not know.

“Welcome back my apprentice. It is time for you to continue your training with me.”

I had not will to hear him ramble on about meaningless stuff. I felt a twinge of pain between my legs and the rage within me replaced the fear. This man trained the jerk who took advance of me and thus must have known what had happened. He was a sith alright even if his teachings said otherwise. Only a sith would use the weakness of a young woman to gain personal power.

“Let us begin with reminding you of what a clear, focused mind can do.”

I growled underneath my breath, wishing the man would shut up. I would not stand for him to lecture me about a clear mind when placed in these conditions.

“The power of the universe is at your hand when you can put aside all meaningless thoughts and emotions. Patterns that can not been seen otherwise shine like a golden beacon, creating new logic never thought of before, allowing you the ability to gain over others.”

Now that was talking like the sith he really was. I told him to shut up in a very loud, angry voice. He paused in mid thought and looked at me in a queer way.

“What did you say, apprentice?”

A part of me was terrified at what I had done and was I was about to say, but there was no turning back. If I were to live, I would have to fight and the longer I waited, the harder the fight would become. If I let him think he had power over me, he would have power over me, making me a dead man or worse, a sith. I told him to shut up again. I was not going to hear his petty lecture about having no emotion. He frowned slightly and leaned forward.

“Your show of anger disappoints me. I thought you had learned your lesson during your time spent with my first apprentice. Romness?”

He looked past me, to the man standing behind me. Romess nodded slightly.

“She is rather immature Master. She clings to her emotions very tightly.”

“Yes I can see that. Apprentice, you must not let your emotions control you like this. You gain nothing from it-”

I interrupted him again with my loud voice, saying while I gain nothing from it, they gained plenty.

“What do you mean?”

He asked that question as if trying to understand what a small child was trying to say. I was no child and hated being treated like one. I bitterly told him I had been taken advantage of. He waved a hand as if what I said was trivial.

“That is of nothing. What matter here is the shaping of your mind.”

I stopped him again, saying what really mattered was I had been raped and I would not let such a crime go unpunished. In response, he smiled slightly and leaned back in the chair.

“And what do you propose you are going to do to ‘punish’ me I think you put it.”

I growled again. He was now mocking me, which was a huge mistake on his part. My father mocked me all the time, making me feel powerless and stupid. It was a feeling I hated and knew too much about. But I knew I was not stupid and was not going to reveal any plan I had.

“Come now dear. I do not have all day to play your little games. Tell me what you are going to do, or let me teach you of power I am now starting to doubt you can handle.”

I said nothing and dropped my eyes to the floor.

“I thought as much. Do not interrupt me again or I will be the one to do the punishing.”

I ignored him and tried to focus on the Force. I had so badly hoped I could somehow reach past the animal’s natural block and dive into the power I needed to live. I was half conscious of the man endlessly talking about something I did not care to know and pushed my mind, searching beyond the room. As much as I tried, I could not succeed.

“Still trying to touch your little Force eh? Indeed you are stubbornly stupid, despite my attempts to educate you. I had hoped I would not have to do this, but you have insisted most firmly. Romness, please secure her for her punishment.”

Romess moved exceedingly swiftly to secure me. He wrapped one arm tightly around my neck, to the point I was almost choking. He wrapped another arm right below my chest, pinning my body to his. The blond man pulled out a small box that I recognized to be the anti Force kit. I started to panic. Even if none of this was happening, I still had a huge fear of needles. He pulled out the needle and started to advance at me. My body stiffened and I tried to control my shaking legs.

“Perhaps you will learn to obey me when you recover from this.”

He walked into a range that had been taught to me by Master Mirmo and out of instinct I kicked the blond man hard in the gut, causing him to fall down. The needle was jerked out of his hand and flew through the air, and straight into his thigh. He moaned in pain as the drug was injected into him. Several seconds later he pulled the needle out, but it was too late. The drug was already taking an effect on him.

Mirmo had also taught me another thing about fighting. When you make a move, don’t stop there, but keep fighting until you are unconscious or safe. Two seconds after the kick, I pulled my right arm out of the loosened grip and elbowed the apprentice hard in the ribs. He immediately doubled over, hugging his right side. I turned around and kicked him in the left knee as hard as I could. I heard a certain crack as my sturdy boot met his knee cap and knew I had cracked it. He fell to the floor, eyes watering in pain, unable to move. I did not waste time watching the blond man twitch and scream from the drug or studied the rapist lie on the floor. Instead, I jumped high, skipping the steps all together and ran for the door. I slammed my hand on the access button and to my surprise, the door opened for me. I raced out the door and into the gray walls of the building. There was no one around so I kept running. As I was running, I focused on calming my mind as fast as I could and when I was able to, I reached out into the Force. I pictured my master, remembering what he felt like in the Force, and sent him a cry through the Force. I had to keep the call short, fearing the sith would pick up on my signature and find me all the faster.

[snowind]

Hey, really good! Hope Mirmo gets the signal before the Sith does...

[JediKaren]

Ch 28
Mirmo

The trip itself was a bit more than frustrating. The location of my hidden apprentice was on the far side of the planet and the only way to get to the building without being noticed was the fly myself there. If I took public transportation I would have stuck out as a stranger and would have had to keep a constant lookout for spies. I could not get off easily and would put innocent civilians at risk if a blast fight started. And if a fight happened, I would tip off the enemy and lose all hope of rescuing my apprentice. While my ship was easy to spot, I could use the masses of buildings to lose someone if I needed, as well as protect myself. Yet, it was a slow trip that ate at my patient and fed my fear. The worse part of the trip was the traffic I rammed head into at the beginning of the trip.

I grew up on a sparsely populate planet that was ignored by the galaxy and lived in a town with few vehicles. Many families did not own a speeder, but took a public air bus or did old fashion walking. I grew up know nothing about flying and saw no need until I started research the Jedi and found out it was a basic skill. Even Luke Skywalker was a natural born pilot as was his father, or so the books bragged. I realized if I wanted to because a Jedi, would have to learn to fly. I started out one a simple swoop, a single bike like transport meant for quick, short trips that were fairly easy to handle and even more dangerous. I was very luck to live after my self training as I was thrown off or slammed into the ground as my swoop rolled sideways. A broken arm and leg taught me to slow down, be more aware of my surrounds, and also to listen to a voice I suspected at the time to be the Force, warning me to look left.

Once I had mastered the swoop, I moved on to a speeder, a more flat vehicle, which was faster, but harder to maneuver. I learned how to manage to move around in the worse traffic my planet had to offer, earning me many of glare and curses. It did not take me long before I enrolled into a serious pilot class and learned about the space going ships. I had the luck to be instructed by a former rebel pilot who drilled us like we were new recruits about to enter the war and fly in our first mission. The poor man was the subject of many cruel jokes. While it was a bit silly at times, the information was highly practice and save me several times.

Once Master Skywalker took me into his Jedi academy I made a bet with him about a certain disputed fact and won, earning myself private flying lessons with him. In the end, we both agreed his lessons were worth the bet. I learned to feel the ship with the Force, sensing how to push the ship faster and how to keep track of his. Later I used his lessons to train my Dawners, not that they could feel the Force, but at least they could use some of the techniques about being aware of their surroundings. I became a reputable pilot, and by some, a great one. But for all my greatness and skill, I still hated traffic.

I sat in the worse, thickest part of the space lanes, unable to move or vent my frustration. I toyed with the idea of comning Chancellor Leia to grant me special permission to break out of the space lane, but just then the lanes moved and I was able to get free of the mess. I flew most of the night, alone in my small ship, listening to Karen’s music. I came to realize some of her angrier music was not just about anger, but about problems on her planet. I noted the problems talked about were not far off from what my galaxy faced. We all feared, hated, lost, found, and loved. Money was always a problem, abuse was regular, and there still was no answer to how to abolish death and suffering. There were songs mixed in that were calming with little to say, but had an effect on me that held me through the night. I let the file repeat itself several times, feeling the essence of my apprentice.

The black, starless sky lightened slowly into a navy blue and then at the bare horizontal, tiny streaks of red and orange crept upward. Yellow and pink stretch over the sky, broke into a beautiful sun rise. Echos of the brilliant colors reflected on the glass building, brightening the air. I had finally gotten close to my location. Normally a few ships were have been spotted, traveling to get an early start on their job, but this area was nearly empty, giving the neighbor a creepy feeling. The buildings were grey and blank, trying not to draw attention to them. The flashing advertisements were old or falling apart and badly needed repairs. I slowed the ship to keep the engine quiet. Suddenly my comn flashed. I saw it was the boss.

“Mirmo, what is your location?”

I told him I was only a few blocks away from the coordinates he gave me.

“Good man. There will be a gray, windowless building with nothing surrounding it. The only way is either through the ground up, or a docking bay on the north side. You have your lightsaber with you I trust?”

I affirmed that.

“I could not imagine a Jedi without one, but you never know with Skywalker. I suggest you go by the ground out and needless to say hurry. Your apprentice’s life accounts on your speed.”

He did not need to say it twice. He signed off. I circled the building at a distance, trying to keep in the shadows. I stopped the ship in the shade of a dark building in view of the docking bay, wondering if I should risk a bold, fast attack. I saw no guard on the platform and wondered if this was no a trick. I spotted the door and observed it opened and a figure slipped out. The person kept in the shadows, keeping low the ground. I leaned forward, wondering who it was. The figure edged along the wall and took one step too far into the rising sun. In a second, I saw the brown, long hair of my apprentice and hurriedly put the ship into gear and flew like mad to the platform.