Reaching Through Darkness

[snowind]

Mirmo to the rescue!!

I imagined mirmo older... like I don't know... a grandpa... until this chapter

[JediKaren]

WHAT? lol oh no no. He's like 39-44 or something.

[psidan]

Really? Heh. I imagined Mirmo to be a 30-40 year old man. You know. With a shaved, brown beard thingy, etc.

[JediKaren]

Ch 29
Karen

I stopped running when I heard the loud foot steps of an oncoming person. I made myself slow down to a reasonable pace and kept my head down, but acted busy. The person was a man in uniform who gave me one questioning look, but did not approach or question me. My heart raced wildly, but I forced myself to act cool and calm, like I belonged in the hall. I breathed a thanks to the Force. I opened a door that was labeled “clean up crew” and walked in a small closet. The room was crowded with cleaning supplies, but that didn’t matter. There was a table that I quickly cleared off and climbed up on. I raised my hands on the ceiling and pushed. The ceiling block opened up and I slide it over. I grabbed onto the small metal beams to test my weight. The beams were solid durasteel. I hauled my thin body through the hole and replaced the ceiling block. I quietly prayed to the Force no one would open the closet before I escaped.

It is strange to note that everyone who escapes always uses the air ducts and so was I. I always thought the ducts would be too small or too loud, but this one muffled all the sound I was created, crawling quickly on my hands and knees. I had no idea where I was going, but I knew I was getting as far away as I could from sith and that was a good thing. I peered down over a grate and saw heads of brown hair. Two men, dressed in gaurd uniform were pacing around in the room, restless and bored. I leaned my ear to the grate to hear what they were talking about.

“-he said some girl was on the loose. I didn’t even know there was a girl in here.”

“Yeah, well that’s the master for ya. If you ask me, I think he didn’t tell us because he’d knew would we go find her. I know I would. I’m awfully lonely for a femme’s body.”

“You and your sex. Don’t ya ever thing of anything else?”

“Hey, don’t knock unless you’ve tried it. I’m only here because my babe needs the money bad. She’s pregnant ya know.”

“Yeah and that’s the millionth time you’ve said that today.”

“Sorry, I’m just so happy I’m gonna be a father. Anyway, I think this whole girl thing is a myth, trying to get us all alert or something.”

I breathed and sat back up as much as I could without hitting my head. I expected my escaped to be notified to the guards, but I was glad no one knew where I was. I shifted my weight and froze as the ceiling block I was sitting on groaned under my weight.

“What was that?”

“Maybe it was your stomach.”

“I just ate!”

“I dunno then.”

“It sounded like it came over head.”

“There’s no one here. I wouldn’t worry about it.”

I could feel the board underneath me sink downward. My heart raced again. If I moved, the men would surely hear it. But if I didn’t move I was going to fall.

“Maybe it’s the girl.”

“Look, there is no way it could be the girl. All that is up there is a bunch of pipes and stuff.”

I heard a crack and started to crawl off of the block.

“I’m telling ya, there’s someone up there. And if it’s the girl-”

“There is no girl up there for the last tim-”

The block broke in several pieces. I had not had time to lift my knees and was pulled down and out. I fell painfully on the floor, dazed for a moment. When my eyes cleared, I saw two very shocked men staring at me. The scene was frozen like someone froze time. I scrambled onto my feet and ran for the door.

“Hey, you there!”

I reached for the door, an old manual one, and kicked hard to force the door to open. When the door sung outward, I raced through and into another gray hall.

“Stop!”

I ignored their orders and kept running. I turned left at the nearest cross halls and then right, trying to throw the guards off. The hall ended at the door. I could hear the loud, running footsteps of the guards chasing after me. I palmed the small screen of the access. The screen turned green and the door opened to an outside platform, overlooking the city. Part of the platform was covered. The rising sun angled the light, so there was a long shadow that reached the end of the walk. I slowly crept towards the end, wondering what I was going to do next. I had no where to go and not much time left before the guards would catch up. I walked ever so slowly to the end and looked down. There was nothing between and a long fall to my death. I breathed rapidly, unable to control my panic.

“Karen!”

I looked up and saw a small ship flew my way. I looked at the cockpit and was my master. I nearly started crying in relief, but was distracted by the screams coming from the door of the building. Master Mirmo stopped the ship abruptly and popped up the transparent hatch. I did not waste time and climbed in as blaster blots bounced off the sides of the ship. When I was seated, the hatch was back on and Mirmo was already directing the ship away from the building. I found myself close to hyper ventilating.

“Deep breathes, Karen. Are you hurt?”

My master was staring at me. I became aware of how horrible I looked. I hadn’t had a bath in days, there were bruises all over me, and there was a nasty welt on my face from the hard smack that Romness dealt me. Still, all of those wounds didn’t match up to what I had been through. I didn’t know how to tell my master what had happened so I lied and said I was fine. I added after a second to get me out of here as fast as he could.

“What happened?”

That was such a huge, complex question; I paused to consider it, while collecting my thoughts. There was too much to say, too little I had thought over. I remained silent in reflection.

“Karen?”

I realized how worried and upset my master sounded. I slowly told him I couldn’t answer that and just wanted to be quiet. He nodded and focused on flying. For a while we remained silent. I tried to relax my body, but I just couldn’t. My heart wouldn’t stop fluttering madly. I couldn’t get the imagines of Romness sitting on top of me. I started to sob out loud. Mirmo reached out with one hand and patted my thigh. I winced at his touch and drew back to the side of the cramp ship. He frowned at my reaction. I cried harder, ashamed that I couldn’t be touched.

“Shhh. It is ok Karen. Just hang on until we get back to Nea’s apartment and I will attend to your wounds.”

I nodded and forced myself to stop crying. I dried off my tears with my dirty sleeve. My stomach twisted into a knot. Nuisance hit me like a wave. I closed my eyes and tried to relax my body again. I told myself I was upset and if I could calm down, my stomach would relax. My stomach heaved and I nearly vomited. I clenched my teeth and demanded that Mirmo pulled over.

“Karen, just wait until-”

I shouted with urgency for him to pull over right then. He directed the ship to an outlook of a building and opened up the hatch. I jumped out, took two steps and was violent sick. Master Mirmo hurried out of the ship and to my side.

“Karen, Karen, my apprentice, what is wrong? What have they done to you?”

I couldn’t answer for several more minutes. When I was done, Mirmo supported me as I weakly walk back to the ship, shaking. I told him I didn’t know. He held me for a moment, rubbing my back, waiting for my limbs to calm down. I buried my face into his chest and cried again.

“Shhh. I need you to get back into the ship so we can get out of here. It is not safe for us to stand here.”

He helped me back into the ship and he climbed over me to the pilot’s side. The ship was put back into gear and we flew away in sad silence.

[JediKaren]

Ch30
Mirmo

Karen fell asleep mid trip back to Nea’s apartment. I only slightly relaxed. She looked so exhausted, so pale, and in pain. There was a nasty, red, angry welt on her cheek that could only have come from a hard slap of a man. It hurt to think about who had done that to her. My mind could not help, but wonder what other marks laid on her body. What also bothered me to no end was Karen’s reaction to me when I laid a hand on her. She had not withdrawn from me like that since the night I found her dancing. Her whole general manner, like the curled up position she was in right now spoke of abuse and fear. It was obvious she did not feel safe, even in the presence of me, nor could bring herself to tell me what had happened. The searing pain in my crying heart made me focus more on flying faster to the only place I knew where she would receive help.

She was still fast asleep when I put the ship into landing gear next to Nea’s cruiser. The hatch hissed opened and I worried the sound would wake her up. She stirred a bit and curled up into a tighter ball. I frowned as I climbed out and off the ship, circling over to her. I put a gentle hand on her shoulder, watching her reaction very closely. She made no sound or movement. I moved my hand to her left shoulder. There was still no reaction from her. She really was in a deep sleep. I tucked my other arm below her knees and lifted her out of the passenger seat. Her limp head rested against my chest. She was lighter than I expected her to be and looked worse than before. I carried her slowly to the door of Nea’s apartment and told the droid it was me. The door swung open on its own and I stepped into the dark hallway.

“Mir, buddy? Is that you?”

I quietly said yes, trying to hint to Nea to keep his voice down so not to wake my apprentice. He got the hint and came closer to take a look at Karen.

“Is she ok?”

I shook my head and focused on raising my sagging arms. Her head slid off my chest and fell backwards. Her mouth hung open in a most pitiful, heart breaking way. She looked and felt so close to death. I told Nea to call a medic to the house to treat Karen.

“Would it not be better to take her to a med center?”

I told him no. I did not want to reveal my apprentice to the public yet, fearful of the sith tracking her down again. Nea nodded. I walked past Nea and down the hall to Nea’s spare room where Karen had been sleeping in. I was hoping if she slept in a room she knew, she might recover faster in a mentally and physically way. I carefully picked my way through the junk on the floor and put Karen’s thin body on the bed. I lifted her dirty, ragged shirt a little to see what wounds were on her abdomen. The site was not pretty. There were some nasty, multicolor bruises on her ribs and strange claw marks showing on her sides, and I was willing to bet on her back as well. I put her shirt back down and walked out of the room to find Nea.

He was in the living area of the small apartment, pacing. I asked him if he had a med kit and purified water. He stopped pacing and rumbled around in different drawers before pulling out a scuffed up med kit. I looked inside and saw that while the kit looked old, it was well stocked with sterile bandages, bacta patches, mild painkillers, and more. I put the kit down and got a large glass of water. I grabbed the kit again and headed back into Karen’s room. I put everything on the night table behind her head and quietly woke her up. She jumped at my voice, looking wildly around, and hugging her body. I calmed her down with a soft voice and sure words that she was safe. When she realized where she was, she relaxed back into the bed.

I hesitated at what I was about to ask her to do. I needed to treat her wounds and the only way to do that was to have her remove her shirt. She was a private person when it came to revealing her more private parts. I knew she had underwear on and would not actually be showing anything, but I knew she would be very uncomfortable with it. I opened up the med kit to delay the question and made sure she saw what I was doing. I pulled out the bacta and sterilizing pads and then looked at her. She knew what I was going to ask her and I could see the resistance on her face. I swallowed and asked her kindly if she would let me treat her. She did not answer right away, but searched me with her eyes. I told her I would not harm her or question her yet. She continued to look at me, wavering. I put my hand on her hand and asked her to trust me this one time. She removed her hand from mine and pulled off her shirt.

I could not fight back the gasp that came from my unready lips. Her wounds were worse than I expected. There were angry, red, infected claw marks up and down her back with bruises covering most of her stomach, chest, and arms. It looked like she had been brutally beaten and grabbed. Dry, dark blood caked small dents in her arms where sharp, long nails had dug in. I had to wonder how much pain she was in and how she was managing not to show it. She was blushing a bright red, apparently embarrassed to show me her wounds. I said nothing about it.

I first cleaned the blood off her and carefully looked at the bruising. I called on the Force to sense her internally, but felt nothing out of place or any bone broken. I sterilized the wounds with a chemical that caused her to hiss in pain. I waited for her body to relax again before I put pieces of the bacta patch on her. There was nothing I could do for the bruises and the painkillers I had would do little for the intensity of pain she was in. I told her she would have to wait for the medic to give her something stronger. Karen’s eyes flashed in terror when I mentioned the medic coming. She reinsured me she was fine and did not need anyone else to look at her. I saw her wince in pain and told her there may be more that we did not know was wrong with her. Her eyes flared again in unknown panic. I realized she was trying to hide something, something that the abuser did to her. I did not question her like I promised, but hoped the medic would tell me.

I put away the supplies and gave her the glass of water. She chugged the water down as fast as she could and then licked her lips afterwards. I took the glass and ventured a question if she was given water during her captivity. She said yes, but in a slow way that made me think she was not given much. I went out of her room to the kitchen and got a pitcher of water. I brought back the water and filled the glass again. She drained it like a dying man. I poured another glass for her, but I had her take small sips so she would not be sick again. It worried me that she threw up so violently on the way back. I put a hand to her forehead, ignoring her flinching, and discovered she had no fever. I asked her if she felt sick and she said no, just that she was tired and in pain.

There was nothing more I could do for her, but wait for the medic to examine her. I had her finish the glass of water and told her to get some sleep. She curled up on her side, twitching and moving around to find a less painful spot. I felt bad that she could not even sleep in comfort. I filled up her glass again in case she woke up thirst and walked out of her room for good. I went back to the living area and asked Nea to connect me to Luke Skywalker. I could have contacted Master Skywalker using my comn link, but I wanted my call to be untraceable and completely private and Nea had the brains and tools to do it. In ten minutes Nea set up a secure connect that would take a hacker longer to hack into than the call was going to take. In another two minutes Luke’s voice came through the speaker of my comn link.

“Luke Skywalker, who is this?”

I told him it was me.

“Mirmo! Yes, how are you? Is everything alright? How is Karen doing with the mission?”

That was the problem. Everything was far from right. I told him about Karen getting captured, the political mess in the senate, and how there was a possible sith behind all of the chaos. I gave him all the details, names, and supporting details I could. Master Skywalker listened to my tale and was quiet for a long time. For a second I thought we had disconnected and asked if he was there.

“Yeah, I am. Sorry, I was just thinking about how I had been feeling a disturbance in the Force and had been wondering if it had anything to do with you. I was about to call you if I did not hear anything soon. What do you think should be done?”

The truth was I had not gotten that far in my plan. All I had been focused on was finding Karen. Now that I had done that and had most of the information needed, I was not sure what next step to take.

“This is too big and seriously for one Jedi to tackle alone. I have had more experience with dark siders so can you give me a day to travel over there and we will talk out a plan there?”

I said that would be fine. Karen could not go anywhere and needed me, so I could wait a day.

“How bad is she?”

From my own examination, she would certainly live, but it would take a few days before she physically healed. I was not positive of how much mental damage she took on or how long it would take for her to over come it.

“She will make it. She is one of the toughest; more determine women I have ever met.”

My heart swelled in pride for Karen, only to deflate when I imagined her beat up body curled up in a fetal position.

“I need to get things ready if I am to come here. Have Nea send over the address of his apartment.”

My eye brows rose at the mention of Nea. I asked him how he knew who I was with.

“Leia told me.”

Ah, I had forgotten about the Chancellor reporting to her brother.

“May the Force be with you Master Mirmo.”

I repeated the phrase back to him and signed off. I sat back, reviewing all that had happen, ignoring the fact that ever bone in my body ached with weariness. I had barely any sleep for the last few days and I could feel the toll on me. Still, Karen had gone through worse and she needed me to stay awake for her. I was in deep in thought when Nea announced the medic was here. I got up and greeted the medic, who carried in a much bigger container than Nea’s med kit. She was in her mid life, brown hair, a soft face with a caring personality. I lead her to Karen’s room, telling her what little I knew of Karen’s condition and what had happen. She nodded as I opened the door and woke up Karen.

[snowind]

Karen will be alright! YAY

[JediKaren]

Ch31
Karen

“Karen, wake up, the medic is here.”

I slowly woke up from a deep, scary nightmare. I looked around the room, expecting to see Romness there, but instead I was the worried eyes of Master Mirmo. I took a deep breath and tried to relax. I saw a woman carrying a bag in her hand, standing by the door. I guessed she was the medic. I looked at Mirmo again. He was looking at the medic as if he was wondering what happened next. The medic walked next to me and put the bag on the ground.

“I like to examine my patients in private.”

Mirmo did not like being told this. He turned around and gave me a meaningful, apologizing look.

“You will be ok apprentice. Just do as she asks.”

I nodded my head that was still full of sleep. Mirmo walked to the door and muttered to the medic something about letting him in when she was done. The medic agreed to this and closed the door. To distract myself from the unpleasantness to come, I took the blankets off me and studied my fingers. I was worried what the medic might find wrong with me and what questions she might ask.

“There’s no need to be scared of me. I am Medic Clet and I am just going to look over you to see what might be wrong.”

I nodded, but would not look up. I kept silent, wishing this would get over as soon as possible.

“You have some nasty bruises there. It looks like someone attacked you. You do not have to tell me if you do not want to, but what happened?”

I looked down at my feet. My master had taken off my shoes and socks while I slept. Strangely, my feet seemed and felt fine, unlike the rest of me. I could feel the impatience of the medic standing in front of me. I knew she wanted me to go into details, but I just plain couldn’t at that time.

“I understand if you do not want to talk about it, but there are a few questions I must know for medical reasons. The first question is: were you drugged with anything at all?”

I did not want to admit I was, but she was right. She had to know what was in me before she could give me painkillers. I told her yes, but that I didn’t know what drug it was.

“I know that was hard, so I thank you. What reaction did you have to the drug?”

I told her I got sick. My stomach ached, my body shook, and I was extremely weak. She had a face that told me she did not recognize this drug. I didn’t expect her to. I didn’t think anyone would know about the anti Force kit.

“I am going to have to take a sample of blood and run it through a scanner while I look at you. It is going to hurt just a bit, but it will be short.”

What she said was true. She stuck the needle in and I tried my hardest not to panic. Memories of the sith like blond man with his needle in my arm flooded my brain. I was relieved when she pulled the sharp metal from my arm and put a small bandage on the puncture. I watched her put the blood sample into a machine. I stared at it with great worry, wondering what she would find. She caught me looking and smiled.

“It will take at least a few minutes before it is done analyzing your blood. Meanwhile, let me look at those wounds.”

She had me take off my shirt and pants, leaving me only in my underwear. She poked and fingered my wounds; making suggests as to what happened. She was getting far too close to the truth, but I said nothing. I did not want to admit the horrible, embarrassing thing that happened to me. She checked my pulse, lungs, mouth, ears, and eyes. She pulled the thermometer from my mouth and looked at it. She clicked her tongue, a sign I wasn’t sure how to take and then looked at the machine scanning my blood. She was silent for a minute and then looked at me with a slight smile. My hopes rose. I desperately hoped she had good news.

“Well my dear, aside from some infected wounds, there is nothing wrong with you-”

I breathed a huge sigh of relief and then noticed her mouth was still moving.

“except that you are in the first stage of being pregnant.”

My mouth fell wide open. Pregnant? I was pregnant? That horrible, wicked sith got me pregnant? I put a hand to my lower stomach. I stuttered out a question about her being sure.

“Yes, I am positive. Have you experienced any naissance?”

By the Force, I was pregnant! That is why I got sick so suddenly and violently on the way back. Oh by the Force, what would my master think? How could I tell him what happened?

“Excuse me for asking this, but is he the father?”

I knew she was referring to Mirmo. I furiously told her no. How dare she think that an older man would do that to me. Mirmo was like a father I didn’t have. Mirmo would have never done such a thing or even thought about it. She took a step back and raised her hands to calm me down.

“I am sorry. I had to ask. Please forgive me of my rudeness.”

I took a deep, calming breath. It was not her fault. She couldn’t have known better. I was just upset and shocked about the fact I was pregnant. The medic took a step towards the door and changed topics abruptly.

“Do you want to tell him about the news or should I?”

I paused in thought, feeling my nerves scatter. I didn’t know how to tell Mirmo. I had barely registered the awful truth and had not even come to terms with it. I shakily ask her to break the news. She nodded, opened the door, and let a nervously waiting Mirmo in. He came in and looked at me for clues to my condition. I had no answer for him. He walked over and stood at the end of my bed. I almost thought about asking him the sit so he could take the news a bit better. As the medic closed the door again, I saw Nea stand out in the hallway.

“So how is she?”

Mirmo’s voice was full of worry and fear. The medic smiled a calming smile and spoke in a clear, slow way.

“She is fine-”

I could hear Mirmo sigh like I did. I curled up into a ball, scared to hear what next she had to say and what would follow.

“except she is in the early stages of pregnancy.”

Mirmo did not response in the same openly shocked way that I did, but went very still and quiet. I could see his mind race through the meaning of pregnancy. I could feel his emotions evolve from shock, to fear, to anger as he realized what had happened to me. My own fear rose to a new level. Was he mad at me or the man that did this? Would he blame me for letting this happen? Could I explain to him what happened? For a full, painful minute he did not utter a word or moved a muscle. I could not stand the tense silence and squirmed in my bed, bringing Mirmo’s attention to me. He looked at me with eyes full of compassion. He started to lean over as if to hug me, but stopped. I started to hug myself and cry. I felt so shameful and dirty, like I had some deadly disease. Mirmo shushed me and rubbed my back in slow, small circles.

“Shhh. It is ok. It is going to be alright. It is over. Calm down. You will be ok.”

My sobs morphed into sniffs as his rubbing brought me back to a calmer, more stable mood. The medic cleared her throat, bringing our attention back to her.

“I am sorry that I have to ask this and I am aware this is offensive, but legally I must ask this. Were you raped?”

I nodded and started to cry all over again. I hated hearing that word. It was so dirty and horrible to think about. Mirmo held me in his arms, keeping silent this time, letting me have my tears.

“Again, for legal reasons and to help track the rapist, I will need to do a rape kit on you.”

I stopped crying. I knew what this would involve and grew still in Mirmo’s arms. He looked at me with pity.

“Karen, I know you do not want to go through this and I understand why, but she is right. In order to put the man in jail and to stop all this madness, she needs to do this.”

I looked at him, searching his soul. He knew how much I would hate it and how it would only bring on pain, but in his eyes there was a firmness that would not let me back out. I wiped my eyes and voiced my agreement.

“Then sir, please step out for a few minutes.”

The rape kit was far from pleasant. I knew I would have nightmares from this experience alone. It was painful and it brought back memories that caused me to cry silently and grip the sheet in agony. When she was done, she carefully put everything away and gave me a painkiller that would put me asleep. She let Mirmo in and gave us the news.

“She is a bit raw and will be pain for a few days, but there is no permanent damage. Her baby will be fine as long as she continues to see a medic. Here are some painkillers to give her every six hours. She looked dehydrated, so keep giving her water and simple foods like soup. When she gets a little stronger, give her something a little more solid like bread and a little meat.”

Neither Mirmo nor I had anything to say to this. I was trying to get use to the idea I had a baby growing inside of me. The thought was repulsive. I was not ready for a baby and did not want it.

“Now if you will excuse me, I need to run these samples by a lab. I will have the results sent to you as soon as I get them, which should be in a few days. I recommend going to the police as soon as you can, if you want to catch the rapist.”

With that she walked out of the apartment. Mirmo came back to the bed and sat down on the edge. My eyes were growing heavy as the painkiller was taking effect on me. He pulled the blankets over me. Despite the warmness, I drifted off to an uneasy sleep full of nightmares and pain.

[Fearn]

Oh. My. Gosh. I did not see that coming at all! JK, this story is awesome!

[JediKaren]

Ch 32
Mirmo

I was tired. In fact the word tired hardly covered the true feeling of pure exhaustion I was feeling. Every bone, limb, and inch of skin hurt. I had been awake for a full three days and the toll had finally hit me like a landspeeder ramming into me and then landing on me. Actually, I think I felt even worse than that. My head was pounding me and my eyes were heavy. Despite all that, I could not sleep.

I had come out of Karen’s room to tell Nea the bad news.

“Yes, I heard, she is pregnant. I am so sorry Mirmo. At least she is alive and relatively unhurt.”

I dropped into the chair that had been my bed, rubbing my eyes. I could hardly grasp my mind around the concept of Karen being pregnant. It seemed so unlikely and so unreal that I did not want to believe it. Aside from her nasty cuts and bruises, she did not look pregnant, yet when I reached out into the Force I felt a tiny presence in the Force, just a gathering of cells that was connected to her, but not her signature.

“Mirmo, you did what you could and I know you did all that anyone could have. Do not get so bummed out. This is not the end of the world. It is going to be hard on both of you to straighten this out, but I know you can get through it. Meanwhile, you need to rest before you fall ill as well. Here, eat this. If I know you, you have not eaten for three days right?”

I nodded moodily. I had not been thinking about food since Karen was kidnapped and when I left Nea, I stopped eating entirely. I could feel the weakness in my legs and the hollowness in the pit of my stomach that extreme hunger brought. Nea handed me a cup of hot soup to sip. The warmness slid all the way down to my feet, warming me, but doing little to cure the sandstorm going on in my head. I wondered out loud if Karen was hungry and if I should force down some soup into her.

“Wait until she wakes up. She needs to sleep more than she needs food. Her body will let you what she needs.”

I sighed and silently agreed. I was very glad Nea was here. He seemed to be the Jedi here with a calm, cool mind. I smiled to myself, realizing how pitiful I sounded. The humor I found in this situation slightly cheered me enough to take another sip. My eyes closed briefly to savor the rich flavor of the soup, letting the warmth battle the darkness within me.

“Why do not just sleep there for a while and I will take care of Karen if she wakes up soon?”

I did not want to leave Karen for any reason, not even to sleep, but I found myself too tired and worn out to answer. I stared blankly at the living room. My mind grew dark, empty without any stray thoughts to interrupt my peace. My body relaxed in the chair. I was growing sleepier by the second and soon drifted off into a sea of nothingness.

I awoke in a start. The room was dark with one light in the kitchen gently glowing. Something was wrong. Somewhere, someone cried out in terror. I listened carefully, but heard nothing. What was it? I took a calming breath and focused on what I had felt. I realized the cry was through the Force and through the bond Karen and I shared. I stretched my conscious awareness to the room my apprentice was sleeping in. Waves of fear and panic rolled off her like a thundering storm. I got up from my chair and hurried over to her room.

I opened the door and turned the light on. She was awake, curled up in a ball. Her face was wet with tears. I walked over to her and petted her hair, waiting for her to speak.

“I- I had a nightmare.”

I nodded in an encouraging way, hoping she would venture out details.

“I er you um you were-were mad at me.”

She gulped. Fear radiated off her even more. Whatever she was about to say was terrifying her.

“You were mad at me because I’m pregnant.”

I went still. I was not expecting this. She gulped again and pushed on with her story.

“You said I should’ve fought off him. I was weak in your eyes and that-that I deserved to be pregnant.”

I opened my mouth to deny that, but she went on with shiny tears leaking through her eyes, staining her face.

“I’m so sorry Master! I couldn’t help it! I wanted to fight. I tried to fight, but they drugged me. They took away the Force from me. I was beaten up every time I tried to escape. He said horrible things to me. He said I was weak and I was an easy prey. He hated the Jedi and hated me, so he took me and my virginity.”

She was openly sobbing now, burying her face in her pillow, curled up in a tiny ball. Her fist hit the bed and fell apart into a useless hanging hand.

“I -I’m so sorry…”

I took her hand and held it. I spoke quietly, telling her I was not mad at her in the slightest. I knew she fought them. I had taught her to fight and knew without a doubt she had done all she could.

“But I’m a Jedi Mirmo! Jedi don’t get raped!”

I heard the frustration, shame, and anger in her voice. If she had been anything other than a Jedi, I could have argued with her, but she had a point. This was not supposed to happen. Then I remembered she said she had the Force taken away from her with some kind of drug. I asked her what that was.

“I dunno. The blond creepy guy called it an anti Force kit. It made me sick and weak. It blocked me away from the Force. There was also some animal there that did the same thing. It looked like reptile and had a weird name. He said it was the natural enemy of the Jedi or something.”

The only animal I knew that could do that was the ysalamiri and Luke had one near the academy. It could stop a Force sensitive from feeling the Force just being living and had a fairly wide range. Luke kept it far away from the Jedi though so no one would be affected by it and it was only used for very advance training that he taught. I was about to ask her another question when Nea came in with two cups.

“Alright you two. Enough talk, it is evening meal time. Medic’s orders are to feed up you starving nerf brains, so here is a cup of soup for both of you.”

We were both given a cup of soup. Nea watched us as we drank the soup quietly and would not leave until we had drained the last drop. I knew better than to argue over food with Nea. Karen seemed to appreciate the food more than me and drank hers at top speed. I warned her to slow down, seeing how her body was still on starving mode and could not take a lot of food at once.

“Your master is right. When you are starved for days on end, your body learns to live on a lot less food and you can not overload it right away. You have to do small portions. So I will be back in a few hours with more. We need to fatten you up for the baby’s sake.”

I could tell by the look on her face, she was not ready to talk about having a baby. I wondered how this pregnancy was going to work, but that was another problem for another time. I saw my apprentice yawn and told her to go back to sleep. Her eyes wavered.

“I don’t want to sleep. I’ll have nightmares again.”

Sadly, she had a point. Nightmares, after what she had gone through, were a normal, expected thing. Still, I could not let her think that. I told her to breathe slowly and clear her mind. She picked up on the fact this was a meditation I was about to guide her through and made a face. I almost started laughing. I repeated my instructions in a firmly voice. She sighed and closed her eyes. Her breathing evened out and within minutes she was soundly asleep.

I stayed in her room for the rest of the night. She woke up nearly every hour, covered in sweat, shaking like a leaf. I would calm her down and use the Force to suggest sleep. She would settle down in a few minutes to sleep for another hour. The night slowly crawled by. I, myself was tired, but the two hour nap Nea made me get helped tremendously. It was close to dawn and Karen had been asleep for nearly two hours. I thought it was safe to leave her and quietly picked my way out of the room only to be met by Nea. He held out a tiny little black pill in his gigantic hand. I stared at it. The pill was known by its street name as Angel’s Bliss and was illegal to have. The drug would put a human to sleep for at least ten hours. While it had no effect on the body or brain, the person could get hooked onto its guarantee sleep. I did not want to expose Karen or the baby to any more drugs.

“She will not dream.”

Nea pointed out the other good effect of the drug. She would have at least ten hours of peaceful sleep with no dreams or nightmares to bother her. I was awfully tired and weary of her waking up in a panic. I took the drug and the glass of water Nea gave me and went back to Karen’s room. I woke her up and told her to go the refresher. One of the bad side effects one did not wake up for anything, even the need to go. When she sleepily came out, I gave her the drug and told her it would help her. She swallowed it and curled up in her bed again. The drug acted immediately. I walked out of her room for good and sat down on my sleeping chair.

“Buddy, get some real sleep. She is not going to wake up any time soon and even if she does, I can handle her. No one is going to attack this place when I have the walls lined with haul plates that can withstand icon cannon. We are perfectly safe as long as no death star decided to fire at us. Luke is not due for a while yet. So get some sleep.”

I didn’t argue with him, but focused on my breathing the same way I told my apprentice to. It did not take long for my mind to stop grinding its mental wheels and to give in to the sweet temptation of sleep.

[snowind]

Hey looks life is throwing rocks at Karen, lets see how she overcomes them.

[JediKaren]

Ch 33
Karen

I woke up, feeling a hand on my forehead. I cracked my eyes opened and squinted through a blur of sleepiness. To my surprise I was Luke Skywalker standing over me with a bit of a smile on his face. He pulled his hand away from my forehead and shushed me to be silent. I wondered if I had not projected myself or was possibly dreaming. I slowly sat up, wondering why I felt strange.

I turned my attention inward. It felt like I had cried myself to sleep and had been scared for a long time, but at that moment I couldn’t remember why. It also felt like I had been asleep for a long time and the sleep was a very peaceful on. On the whole, I felt very emotionally mixed up. I stayed silent, trying to ignore my upset stomach churning away. I put a hand to the pain and saw that Luke stopped smiling. The Force flowed through me from a different source. I looked at Master Skywalker again and realized he was scanning me through the Force. His lips pressed together and formed a disappointing frown. I wondered what was wrong or what I might have done.

“How do you feel?”

I opened my mouth to answer, but that was a mistake. I ran to the bathroom just in time. As I came out, Nea handed me a bottle of water. I accept the water to wash away the awful taste and looked past Nea to see a sleeping Master Mirmo. I wondered if he should not be woken up. I walked pass Nea and went to my master. I whispered to Mirmo to wake up. He started out of his peaceful sleep and looked up at me in confusion for a second. I saw comprehension dawn in his bright green eyes.

“Karen, do not do that to me. Are you ok? Do you need anything?”

I told him I had thrown up, hoping he could fill me as to what was wrong.

“Oh, morning sickness. I am sorry apprentice. There is not much that can be done for that. I see you have water. Good. Is Master Skywalker here?”

“Yes, I am here.”

Mirmo leaned over to see Luke Skywalker standing behind me. He stood up and stretched.

“Excuse me Master, I was sleeping apparently when you came in. Please take my seat. I need to get up and move around. Karen, you sit down too. Luke, can I get you anything?”

Master Skywalker laughed quietly as Mirmo paced around, obviously unnerved by the sudden situation.

“No, I do not need anything. Mirmo, relax for your apprentice’s sake.”

I caught Master Mirmo glaring at me to sit down. I sighed and took a seat. My hand unconsciously went to my stomach. Everyone stared at my belly. I looked down and saw nothing out of the normal. Then I remembered I was pregnant and started to tremble. I gripped the bottle of water and took a deep breath, trying not to show my fears to two Jedi masters. Mirmo walked over and laid a hand on my shoulder.

“It is ok Karen. I brought Master Skywalker to help us sort this all out.”

Luke nodded in agreement.

“Yes, that is right. From last I heard Karen was captured and harmed, and I see she is now pregnant?”

I lowered in eyes in pure, utter shame. I felt the horror and disgust of my body flood me. All three men were staring at me again. I had failed the order and now my worse fear was going to come true. Master Skywalker was going to kick me out of the order because Jedi weren’t supposed to get pregnant. I wiped away leaking tears and through a pinched voice, begged Luke not to throw me out. I wasn’t going to keep the baby so I wouldn’t be pregnant. All three men stared at me in completely shock. Master Skywalker was the first to recover.

“Karen, you know I am not MasterYoda and I do not follow his ways of running an order. I am not going to throw you out for being pregnant. This is not your fault and in no way should you be punished for this. And, what do you mean you are not keeping the baby?”

I swallowed my tears and took another few breaths. I told him I didn’t want the baby. This was not the way I wanted to start a family. I wasn’t ready to be a mother. This time Mirmo spoke.

“Karen, you can not just give up the baby because you were raped. You would be no better than the man that put you in this situation.”

I asked him what he meant by that.

“You will be killing a life. You will be losing a part of you and that is the start of the dark side.”

I stared at him in shock. He was accusing me of wanting to do murder? I told him this thing was not even human. It was just a bunch of cells. Who cares if I lose a few cells?

“Karen, you may not care, but the Force does. These cells are alive and are growing to become something even more alive. You can not just end that. You can not what you told be is ‘playing god’. Those who decide to take control of another life and end it takes a step into the darkside. I know you think this is bad, but it will get worse if you decide to take that step.”

I was getting mad at Mirmo. I told him this was my body. I was the one that had to go through all stages of pregnancy, including the ever so painful birth of a baby I didn’t want. I argued the life in me couldn’t think, move, or have a heartbeat. It was just a cluster of cells and resembled a cancer growth. I went on to say we destroy cancer cells, so why couldn’t I get rid of this? Luke held up a hand to calm me down, but he failed.

“Karen, listen to me. I want to show you something if you are willing.”

He held his glaze steady with me. My will wilted under his eyes.

“Close your eyes.”

I obeyed his order.

“Calm down and allow the Force to enter you.”

It took me a full minute to get rid of my anger enough to let the Force fully flow it natural course through me.

“Now turn your attention to your womb.”

I shudder at that word, but refocused my awareness to where the cells were located. I vaguely felt a faint presence of something else. My mind sharply turned away from the strange feeling.

“Keep focusing.”

I gritted my teeth at Luke’s orders. I made myself go back to the cells. These cells were indeed alive and had a presence of their own. I realized this was my egg, slowly developing into something else.

“Do you feel that? That is what you are going to kill if you opt for abortion. Open your eyes and answer me this.”

I let go of the Force and opened my eyes to look at Master Skywalker’s calm face.

“Have you ever had someone died that you knew well?”

I nodded, unwilling to even think of the names.

“Remember the pain and lost you felt then. You will feel this pain all over again if you kill this life even at this stage. Only the pain will be worse than ever and the lost will be harder to work through. You may not be able to work through the pain and lost and will go over the darkside. Do not do this. Keep the child.”

I told him that I wasn’t ready to be a mother. I didn’t know how to take care of a baby and the baby would have no father.

“Karen, I did not have either parent growing up.”

I winced remembering that fact. Mirmo took a turn talking to me.

“As for not being able to take care of the child, you will have plenty of support. If anything, I will help you raise the child. I am sure there are others that will help you.”

Luke nodded. I looked at Luke and then Mirmo. I didn’t want the kid at all, yet I couldn’t ignore their arguments. I didn’t know what to say. I took a sip of water to borrow more time. I drank my water and realized they weren’t going to let me off the hook. I sighed again and asked them to give me more time. Luke saw my stubbornness and how uneasy I was about the topic.

“I think we can do that. We need to talk about these sith who are the blame for this mess. Mirmo, I know you gave me some details, but I need the whole picture. Why do not tell me what you have discovered.”

[Fearn]

Yes! Time to kick some sith butt! So, JK does this story have any outline, or are you just writing it as it comes to you?

[JediKaren]

oh it definitely has an outline. I know the ending very well and fairly good of how to get there. There are a some details I need to thinking out a bit more, but I do have this planned.