Post by JediKaren on Jan 29, 2008 9:50:01 GMT -5
He moved the mouse over to the refresh button and clicked; only something was wrong. He narrowed his eyes, squinting at the screen that went in and out of his vision. He realized that the arrow of the mouse hadn’t hit the refresh button. He focused more this time and just managed to click the right spot. He leaned back in the chair, letting the front legs lift into the air as he pushed himself from the desk. The site loaded again for the millionth time that day. It had been a busy day for him.
There were posts to answer; immature brats to deal with; and don’t forget the endless complaints and snickers of old, restricted members refusing to let boring, silly matters die. To make up for the troubles of his job, there were moderators he handed picked among the thousands of others to comfort him and tell him not to worry. They would take care of everything. They always took care of everything. Its not like he did nothing but complain. He was a good admin, one who constantly looked for articles on others sites and then copied and pasted them on his site so he could further explain the knowledge of his wonderful site.
The site had finally calmed down after a flare of activity. Some young brat had started a stupid fight with another stupid brat and the fight got nasty. Of course he knew about it and saw it coming, but he saw no real need to intervene. He was going to let the two fight it out and watch them both come to the obvious conclusion they were both stupid and silly and leave the site. He would have done that if he had not received three emails wailing about the fight and demanding he do something. So he went to the thread in a not so good mood and told them to both jerk off and cut out the gayness. Both of the jerks posted back that he was a jerk as well and did not post anymore.
While he solved the fight and should have felt better, he didn’t. There was something about being called a jerk that ate him. There seemed to be more and more names like jerk being aimed at him. He did not understand it. He was working harder than ever on the site. He added more articles every day. He gave more projects to the moderators and kept bothering them until they did it. He added another pod cast, but he noticed barely anyone was listening to it anymore. It seemed the harder he tried the less he was liked. He rocked the chair as his slowed mind went over that last thought. It hurt not to be liked. It hurt to be called names. It hurt to have to hide his pain, and use his anger to squash people who hated him. He wished he didn’t have to do it day after day, yet there seemed to be no other way. He tried to be nice, and he tried to be the best admin ever. Despite this, some vague feeling whispered something horrible, something he refused to believe in.
Thus, this is why he took another drink from the almost empty bottle. He forced the searing liquid and washed away the fear he felt. He loved his site, he had worked long and hard to make it what is was. He could not understand why some people hated it, but that did not matter. The stats were still up and the posts were soaring. Life was good. He took another slip as he refreshed the button again. He scrolled down and noticed a thread. It was titled “You will die” He clicked on the thread and saw nothing in the post part of the thread. He looked to see who the author was, but saw no name. He thought about how strange this thread was. He locked it and moved to the trash board in the admin section of the site, thinking nothing more of the strange thread.
He saw there was just enough left in the bottle for one large swig and decided to down it. For a moment he lost his eyesight, drowned in the feeling of being drunk. He swam back into reality and leaned back. He tried to think through the mist fog that surrounded his brain. He leaned back in the chair.
“BEWARE! You will DIE!”
The thunderous voice came from nowhere and everywhere. The air shook with the vibration of the voice and he could feel the anger of the words in his soul. The voice startled him and for a second it felt like he was weightless, flying through air, before he slammed onto the floor. The chair toppled over him and caused him to jam his neck into the hard wooden floor and twist his neck. That was the last he ever saw of his dear site.
For a long time he did not know where he was. The only word he could think of to describe the place was void. The blackness and emptiness of the space?, room?, plane? continued onward forever. There was nothing around him. He called out, hoping someone would explain what had happened. His voice sounded warped to him, echoing strangely all around him. He wondered where he was for the second time. He tried to remember what had happened, but there was nothing to remember. He tried to remember what he drank, but he could not even remember drinking anything. It was like he has lost all of his past. He looked around, this time more carefully and saw something. He squinted and saw there was a tiny dot of light. He started to walk towards the light and realized with a start he wasn’t walking on anything, only floating in the void. The dot of light grew larger and larger until it was nearly the size he was. The light was strong and bright, hurting his eyes. He was curiosity as to what laid beyond the white circle and walked through with his eyes closed shut.
When he opened his eyes, he gasped in amazement. He was standing on a cloud, a white fluffy cloud, connected to many other beautifully white clouds. He suddenly knew he was in heaven. He looked around the fluffy clouds and very quickly spotted the golden, shining in the light of the clouds, gates. He rushed eagerly to the gates, happy beyond words that he had found the famous gates that opened to a land greater than any daydream he had. He reached out the shining golden bars of the gate and was stopped by a voice.
“Hello Eihar”, said the voice.
He looked up to his left, above his shoulder to an old, bald man sitting a high-perched chair behind a table equally as tall. He took an unconscious step back and looked at the man.
“Who are you?” asked Eihar.
The man chuckled in a kind, yet wise way like a child who knew a precious secret.
“Oh surely you know me Eihar. I am Saint Peter, guardian of the gate to Heaven.”
Eihar did know who Peter was, but he had not remembered Peter would be here. Still that did not matter.
“Right. Well, I’ve been a good person, so open the gates and let me in.” Eihar stated with a confident voice.
Peter smiled at him and leaned a bit forward towards him.
“Come now Eihar, no one gets in with such a short, overly confident statement like that. You know the rules. You and I need have to have a little chat about you,” explained Pete with an all too calm voice for Eihar’s liking.
He really didn’t want to have a “chat” as the old geezer referred to it, but if talking with the saint would get him into heaven, he would humor than man.
“Ok, what do you want to talk about?” he asked.
Peter opened a large, heavy book that was lying on the table and flipped several pages before looking down at Eihar.
“This book is the Book of Eihar. Within this book are all the sins and great deeds you have done in your life before you died. While I know what lies within the book, I do not know what lies within you, or your heart. So Eihar, tell me about yourself. Presume I have never seen this book or know who you are. Presume I wish to learn about you.” Peter said.
Eihar wasn’t sure what was going on here. He sensed something, possibly a trap, but he had no way of proving this. He would just have to go along and be care of what he said.
“Well, um sir, my name is Eihar. I am, er was 27 years old and live, I mean lived in the United States. Gee this past tense is hard. Oh, and apparently I’m dead,” he said rather lamely.
Peter was reading the book, seemingly ignoring him until Eihar coughed into his hand. Peter suddenly looked up, startled, and then looked at him.
“Yes, that is all true, but that does not tell me much about you. Tell me, how did you die?”
Eihar scratched his head in honest confusion. He switched his weight on his feet several times, trying to recall what had happened. For the life of him, his mind went blank on that topic.
“You can’t remember can you?”
“Well sire, no I can’t. I can’t even remember what I was doing just an hour ago. Strange huh?”
“Not really. You see you died from a broken neck caused by excessive drinking and leaning back too far in a chair.”
He started to laugh. He could see himself completely wasted and crashing on the floor like some stupid moron. He looked up at Peter and saw the man was less than amused.
“I hardly see what is so funny, young man,” Peter said quite dryly.
He stopped laughing.
“It’s just that picture of me falling and killing myself. I could see myself doing that.”
Peter still looked bored by his rambling.
“Why is that?”
“Huh?”
“Why can you see yourself falling and killing yourself?”
“Oh I dunno. I just can.”
Peter flipped another page. Eihar shifted his weight once again in a nervous gesture.
“It says here you run a site called Astral Society.”
“Yep, I do. It’s my site all the way. I pay for the bills, I add the articles, I manage the moderators, and my site is the biggest astral site out there.”
“Really now. Could you tell me how you can prove that?”
“All you have to do is look at the member count.”
“Yes, I am looking at the member count, but here I see only a few hundred members who have posted in the last six months.”
He looked at Peter and paused. He knew about that. He knew all to well how many members were not active.
“Well I still have the highest registered member count.”
“True my boy, but I am looking at other sites and I see an even higher register count and active member count. So how can you tell me you have the highest member count?
He paused again, thinking fast.
“What site is this? Whatever site it is, I didn’t know about it until you told me.”
“Boy, the only reason why I mentioned the site was because you visited it several times, looking for articles.”
Eihar gulped in terror and panic.
“They must have grown since I last looked.” He stammered out.
“You looked an hour before you died.” Peter replied calmly.
Eihar felt his heart race and took a deep breath. He could get through this. He had gotten through tighter corners before.
“Well that doesn’t really matter. I still have the most articles than any other site and I know that to be true.” He stated confidently.
“Indeed you do, but I see here your articles were from other sites. These articles have no proper credit and your members wrote very few of them. The site I was referring to earlier has only articles the members wrote themselves. In fact while I am here at this page, I notice you have not written a single article yourself. However, the admin of the other site has written thirty. Do you still believe you have the biggest site out there?”
He found himself unable to look the old man in the eyes for some reason.
“Um well my site still is great. I mean lots of posts are being posted everyday. The members are happy-”
Peter held up his hand, which silenced him very quickly.
“Are you aware that you fired your whole staff and replaced them with others?”
“Yes sir”
“Then you are aware that the previous staff and several high posting members that left your site in anger and pain are unhappy with you?”
He started to get angry with the man. So what if they left? They were rude. They had spammed his site. They attacked him and accused him of unjust things! They were immature, whiny brats who deserved to be banned!
“Um well, it’s not quit-”
“Yes or no will do fine.”
“Yes”
He took a deep breath to steady the rage boiling in him. He wanted to walk past this man and get into heaven. There was no need for this stupid talk. He was not a bad person and therefore was in the right.
“Patience my boy. I am almost done. Just a few more questions and you will be on your way.”
He didn’t really want to answer any more questions, but he saw in the eyes of the saint he would go no where until the man was through with him.
“Now tell me. You said you were a good person. Could you defend that with examples?”
Eihar took a relaxing breath. This would be easy.
“I run a site that helps people and brings them together.”
Peter nodded and encouraged him to keep going.
“People are always telling me I’m a great person for running my site.”
“Always? Think carefully now. The book does not lie.”
“Most of the time.”
“Is that your final statement on the matter?”
“Ok so there are a few people here and there who feel the need to curse me out.”
Peter just stared at him with his sky blue eyes that never blinked.
“Um some people tell me I’m great.”
“And who would those people be?”
“My moderators”
“The people you picked to manage your site for you?”
“They don’t ‘manage’. They more keep it running smoothly.”
“It is natural that the people you pick to give such a heavy and nagging burden would suck up to you endlessly. Is there anyone else?”
He paused for a moment. There weren’t that many people on the list who he believed honestly thought he was great. A lot of new people would pm him with a thank you for making the site, but they didn’t really count.
“Eihar, we will let the matter drop if you will answer me this one last question: Have you ever lied to me during your chat with me?”
Eihar stared at his feet while trying to ignore his pounding heart. If he told the truth, he might be let into heaven and if he lied….well would this old man really know? What really was in that book? It was probably just a blank book, meant to scare him and Peter did a bit of online research that any fool could do. The more he thought about it, the more he concluded the question was really stupid. He was not a liar. Liars didn’t run sites. Everyone knew that. Only a fool would join a site with a lair running it. He, despite what the man said, still had the greatest site out there. He glanced up at Peter.
“Well if that is your answer, I’m afraid I will have to sentence you to a hundred years in the hot flames of hell. In a hundred years, perhaps if you have discovered the error in your ways, we will have another chat and perhaps then I can let you past. I truly am sorry, but your fear to face a truth in which you brought to yourself as your shortcoming.”
Eihar felt a strange hotness surround him and started to panic.
“Wait, let me explain! darn, god darn it! Wait you stupid jerk. I’m not a-” He wailed out through his terror.
Eihar fell through the sky and into the dark, hot pits of hell, never to be seen again.
Note: What you are reading is the exact character of the site owner of AS and has been sworn true by several members of AS. What you read of his sins are true.
There were posts to answer; immature brats to deal with; and don’t forget the endless complaints and snickers of old, restricted members refusing to let boring, silly matters die. To make up for the troubles of his job, there were moderators he handed picked among the thousands of others to comfort him and tell him not to worry. They would take care of everything. They always took care of everything. Its not like he did nothing but complain. He was a good admin, one who constantly looked for articles on others sites and then copied and pasted them on his site so he could further explain the knowledge of his wonderful site.
The site had finally calmed down after a flare of activity. Some young brat had started a stupid fight with another stupid brat and the fight got nasty. Of course he knew about it and saw it coming, but he saw no real need to intervene. He was going to let the two fight it out and watch them both come to the obvious conclusion they were both stupid and silly and leave the site. He would have done that if he had not received three emails wailing about the fight and demanding he do something. So he went to the thread in a not so good mood and told them to both jerk off and cut out the gayness. Both of the jerks posted back that he was a jerk as well and did not post anymore.
While he solved the fight and should have felt better, he didn’t. There was something about being called a jerk that ate him. There seemed to be more and more names like jerk being aimed at him. He did not understand it. He was working harder than ever on the site. He added more articles every day. He gave more projects to the moderators and kept bothering them until they did it. He added another pod cast, but he noticed barely anyone was listening to it anymore. It seemed the harder he tried the less he was liked. He rocked the chair as his slowed mind went over that last thought. It hurt not to be liked. It hurt to be called names. It hurt to have to hide his pain, and use his anger to squash people who hated him. He wished he didn’t have to do it day after day, yet there seemed to be no other way. He tried to be nice, and he tried to be the best admin ever. Despite this, some vague feeling whispered something horrible, something he refused to believe in.
Thus, this is why he took another drink from the almost empty bottle. He forced the searing liquid and washed away the fear he felt. He loved his site, he had worked long and hard to make it what is was. He could not understand why some people hated it, but that did not matter. The stats were still up and the posts were soaring. Life was good. He took another slip as he refreshed the button again. He scrolled down and noticed a thread. It was titled “You will die” He clicked on the thread and saw nothing in the post part of the thread. He looked to see who the author was, but saw no name. He thought about how strange this thread was. He locked it and moved to the trash board in the admin section of the site, thinking nothing more of the strange thread.
He saw there was just enough left in the bottle for one large swig and decided to down it. For a moment he lost his eyesight, drowned in the feeling of being drunk. He swam back into reality and leaned back. He tried to think through the mist fog that surrounded his brain. He leaned back in the chair.
“BEWARE! You will DIE!”
The thunderous voice came from nowhere and everywhere. The air shook with the vibration of the voice and he could feel the anger of the words in his soul. The voice startled him and for a second it felt like he was weightless, flying through air, before he slammed onto the floor. The chair toppled over him and caused him to jam his neck into the hard wooden floor and twist his neck. That was the last he ever saw of his dear site.
For a long time he did not know where he was. The only word he could think of to describe the place was void. The blackness and emptiness of the space?, room?, plane? continued onward forever. There was nothing around him. He called out, hoping someone would explain what had happened. His voice sounded warped to him, echoing strangely all around him. He wondered where he was for the second time. He tried to remember what had happened, but there was nothing to remember. He tried to remember what he drank, but he could not even remember drinking anything. It was like he has lost all of his past. He looked around, this time more carefully and saw something. He squinted and saw there was a tiny dot of light. He started to walk towards the light and realized with a start he wasn’t walking on anything, only floating in the void. The dot of light grew larger and larger until it was nearly the size he was. The light was strong and bright, hurting his eyes. He was curiosity as to what laid beyond the white circle and walked through with his eyes closed shut.
When he opened his eyes, he gasped in amazement. He was standing on a cloud, a white fluffy cloud, connected to many other beautifully white clouds. He suddenly knew he was in heaven. He looked around the fluffy clouds and very quickly spotted the golden, shining in the light of the clouds, gates. He rushed eagerly to the gates, happy beyond words that he had found the famous gates that opened to a land greater than any daydream he had. He reached out the shining golden bars of the gate and was stopped by a voice.
“Hello Eihar”, said the voice.
He looked up to his left, above his shoulder to an old, bald man sitting a high-perched chair behind a table equally as tall. He took an unconscious step back and looked at the man.
“Who are you?” asked Eihar.
The man chuckled in a kind, yet wise way like a child who knew a precious secret.
“Oh surely you know me Eihar. I am Saint Peter, guardian of the gate to Heaven.”
Eihar did know who Peter was, but he had not remembered Peter would be here. Still that did not matter.
“Right. Well, I’ve been a good person, so open the gates and let me in.” Eihar stated with a confident voice.
Peter smiled at him and leaned a bit forward towards him.
“Come now Eihar, no one gets in with such a short, overly confident statement like that. You know the rules. You and I need have to have a little chat about you,” explained Pete with an all too calm voice for Eihar’s liking.
He really didn’t want to have a “chat” as the old geezer referred to it, but if talking with the saint would get him into heaven, he would humor than man.
“Ok, what do you want to talk about?” he asked.
Peter opened a large, heavy book that was lying on the table and flipped several pages before looking down at Eihar.
“This book is the Book of Eihar. Within this book are all the sins and great deeds you have done in your life before you died. While I know what lies within the book, I do not know what lies within you, or your heart. So Eihar, tell me about yourself. Presume I have never seen this book or know who you are. Presume I wish to learn about you.” Peter said.
Eihar wasn’t sure what was going on here. He sensed something, possibly a trap, but he had no way of proving this. He would just have to go along and be care of what he said.
“Well, um sir, my name is Eihar. I am, er was 27 years old and live, I mean lived in the United States. Gee this past tense is hard. Oh, and apparently I’m dead,” he said rather lamely.
Peter was reading the book, seemingly ignoring him until Eihar coughed into his hand. Peter suddenly looked up, startled, and then looked at him.
“Yes, that is all true, but that does not tell me much about you. Tell me, how did you die?”
Eihar scratched his head in honest confusion. He switched his weight on his feet several times, trying to recall what had happened. For the life of him, his mind went blank on that topic.
“You can’t remember can you?”
“Well sire, no I can’t. I can’t even remember what I was doing just an hour ago. Strange huh?”
“Not really. You see you died from a broken neck caused by excessive drinking and leaning back too far in a chair.”
He started to laugh. He could see himself completely wasted and crashing on the floor like some stupid moron. He looked up at Peter and saw the man was less than amused.
“I hardly see what is so funny, young man,” Peter said quite dryly.
He stopped laughing.
“It’s just that picture of me falling and killing myself. I could see myself doing that.”
Peter still looked bored by his rambling.
“Why is that?”
“Huh?”
“Why can you see yourself falling and killing yourself?”
“Oh I dunno. I just can.”
Peter flipped another page. Eihar shifted his weight once again in a nervous gesture.
“It says here you run a site called Astral Society.”
“Yep, I do. It’s my site all the way. I pay for the bills, I add the articles, I manage the moderators, and my site is the biggest astral site out there.”
“Really now. Could you tell me how you can prove that?”
“All you have to do is look at the member count.”
“Yes, I am looking at the member count, but here I see only a few hundred members who have posted in the last six months.”
He looked at Peter and paused. He knew about that. He knew all to well how many members were not active.
“Well I still have the highest registered member count.”
“True my boy, but I am looking at other sites and I see an even higher register count and active member count. So how can you tell me you have the highest member count?
He paused again, thinking fast.
“What site is this? Whatever site it is, I didn’t know about it until you told me.”
“Boy, the only reason why I mentioned the site was because you visited it several times, looking for articles.”
Eihar gulped in terror and panic.
“They must have grown since I last looked.” He stammered out.
“You looked an hour before you died.” Peter replied calmly.
Eihar felt his heart race and took a deep breath. He could get through this. He had gotten through tighter corners before.
“Well that doesn’t really matter. I still have the most articles than any other site and I know that to be true.” He stated confidently.
“Indeed you do, but I see here your articles were from other sites. These articles have no proper credit and your members wrote very few of them. The site I was referring to earlier has only articles the members wrote themselves. In fact while I am here at this page, I notice you have not written a single article yourself. However, the admin of the other site has written thirty. Do you still believe you have the biggest site out there?”
He found himself unable to look the old man in the eyes for some reason.
“Um well my site still is great. I mean lots of posts are being posted everyday. The members are happy-”
Peter held up his hand, which silenced him very quickly.
“Are you aware that you fired your whole staff and replaced them with others?”
“Yes sir”
“Then you are aware that the previous staff and several high posting members that left your site in anger and pain are unhappy with you?”
He started to get angry with the man. So what if they left? They were rude. They had spammed his site. They attacked him and accused him of unjust things! They were immature, whiny brats who deserved to be banned!
“Um well, it’s not quit-”
“Yes or no will do fine.”
“Yes”
He took a deep breath to steady the rage boiling in him. He wanted to walk past this man and get into heaven. There was no need for this stupid talk. He was not a bad person and therefore was in the right.
“Patience my boy. I am almost done. Just a few more questions and you will be on your way.”
He didn’t really want to answer any more questions, but he saw in the eyes of the saint he would go no where until the man was through with him.
“Now tell me. You said you were a good person. Could you defend that with examples?”
Eihar took a relaxing breath. This would be easy.
“I run a site that helps people and brings them together.”
Peter nodded and encouraged him to keep going.
“People are always telling me I’m a great person for running my site.”
“Always? Think carefully now. The book does not lie.”
“Most of the time.”
“Is that your final statement on the matter?”
“Ok so there are a few people here and there who feel the need to curse me out.”
Peter just stared at him with his sky blue eyes that never blinked.
“Um some people tell me I’m great.”
“And who would those people be?”
“My moderators”
“The people you picked to manage your site for you?”
“They don’t ‘manage’. They more keep it running smoothly.”
“It is natural that the people you pick to give such a heavy and nagging burden would suck up to you endlessly. Is there anyone else?”
He paused for a moment. There weren’t that many people on the list who he believed honestly thought he was great. A lot of new people would pm him with a thank you for making the site, but they didn’t really count.
“Eihar, we will let the matter drop if you will answer me this one last question: Have you ever lied to me during your chat with me?”
Eihar stared at his feet while trying to ignore his pounding heart. If he told the truth, he might be let into heaven and if he lied….well would this old man really know? What really was in that book? It was probably just a blank book, meant to scare him and Peter did a bit of online research that any fool could do. The more he thought about it, the more he concluded the question was really stupid. He was not a liar. Liars didn’t run sites. Everyone knew that. Only a fool would join a site with a lair running it. He, despite what the man said, still had the greatest site out there. He glanced up at Peter.
“Well if that is your answer, I’m afraid I will have to sentence you to a hundred years in the hot flames of hell. In a hundred years, perhaps if you have discovered the error in your ways, we will have another chat and perhaps then I can let you past. I truly am sorry, but your fear to face a truth in which you brought to yourself as your shortcoming.”
Eihar felt a strange hotness surround him and started to panic.
“Wait, let me explain! darn, god darn it! Wait you stupid jerk. I’m not a-” He wailed out through his terror.
Eihar fell through the sky and into the dark, hot pits of hell, never to be seen again.
Note: What you are reading is the exact character of the site owner of AS and has been sworn true by several members of AS. What you read of his sins are true.
