Fas Quies Somnio

[Lady Takara]

NOTE: Feel free to comment....though' I know Jedi Karen thought it was rude, I don't mind. Just comment, that way I'll try notice.

Why I named it: It's latin jumbled together....eh....I ain't that great....it isn't the litteral translation. I'm too tired, but I like the name. Just the way it sounds together....xP

Okie....Saturday, July 22, 2006.
Excuse my language, but today has been hell. And I'm so drained because of it. This morning I had to keep an entire car safe at like 1am...which completely drained me. I shielded, called on my elementals. I need to memorize a list of deities so next time, I can call on some deities to help me instead of using up all my magick. I did that and my friend in the car helped to...and even then, we strained.

So learn from me. Never ever try to stop a storm. Swallow pride and call up deities...you know, the Gods. Stupid Council, wouldn't help. They haven't helped me at all today. Of course, if I was near death I'd know they'd step in. But it still suck.

So that is my lesson in training today. I dig my hole and they (the Council) says suck it up, you did it, you choose it, now deal with the consequences. They suck.

[Lady Takara]

Tuesday, August 8th, 2006.

I'm fighting on the astral. I turned it from a battle between two different groups into a food fight. I am probably the most messed up person upon this planet...for doing something like that.

But I made it interesting and fun. I had to be guarded for a while as I hurled cooking equipment and before everyone else joined in. Hilarious.

[Lady Takara]

Sunday, August 13, 2006

I'm entire shut down mode. I can't feel. I can barely eat. I can't sleep. uh..last two aren't exactly shut down...but the switch is flipped in the other direction and I can't work magick, talk to my astral, or anything. It makes me twitch. But I guess I'm kind of grateful. I need time to think. I don't need distractions or anything from me thinking.

[Lady Takara]

I guess I am back. I had this really really bad dream last night. For me, it was really horrifying. I rarely say that about dreams, despite all the death, blood, war, and destruction in my dreams.

I started off...with doing things. I did things for other people. Rescusing, helping, stuff. Well I continued on. Then I whole bunch of those people and I are were walking along when these people on horses charge at us. I run to the right into the forest. And I began avoiding those people. I hear the screams of those people. And as I enter the forest I had a vision of the events that would follow, so for the sake of not repeating the events, I'll just continue on with the "vision" and the events.

I ran into the forest as I said. I continue dodging their attempts. So I see this little dwarf thing. It is not much bigger than my hand. It reminds me of one of those garden things. I began to follow it. It leads me along and then somewhere around this rock, I turn right again and I see there is this brigde that crosses this ravine or something. There are beings that are on them that just don't agree with me. They are naturally my enemies I feel it in me. The only color that comes to mind is black. I remember them wearing black. They were black. Words to describe was like new moon, black, deadly, dangerous, black, darkness. It was darker than vampire. Darker than demon.

I charge at them, because as I said, we are naturally enemies and I can't just allow them. I attempt to hit the farthest one, but my hand does nothing. He turns around and grips my hand and looks at my eyes, his were red. This blood red. They reminded me of blood, wrath, evil, war. And then I get knocked out.

Next thing I wake up, I am held in this cell. These people want to eat me. Litteraly eat my body like munch munch crunch crunch. I was just barely afraid, but inside, it didn't matter. Then he appears. I guess at the time of me he was my lover. Before he became one of them. I'm not sure if he was planning to let me escape because in a way he acted like he was. But that never happened. As we go down in the elevator, I try to kiss him goodbye. But he won't let me kiss him. I'm saddened by this. He isn't so black like the others. He is more grey. Then he led me along into this staduim where all those people are. They are delighted and talking along. I'm not scared despite knowing, I am going to die.
They put me in this thing, not sure if we a net or not. Anyways, I'm held up above the stadium. And I close my eyes, it hurts inside. Then all of a sudden as I am set on fire, not sure what set me on fire, I remember something like a ray, my soul was no longer in my body and I was watching from afar. My body let out this scream that echoed along and the crowd roared with laughter. And delight at me dying. I watched as my body burned and the scream was silenced. And my body turned into ashes that the wind blew away. And then I was outside the stadium just...watching. Then he, the guy that I loved came. He looked up at me and began to walk, or each out a hand to me. I put a finger to my lips, and my expression saddened. I just shook my head. And left.

But there is one difference through out. Before I was "burnt" I was me. The me, the person I am now. Then after I get "burnt" I am me, but not the me I am now. And that's where it ended.

[Lady Takara]

So things have been rather hetic lately. I haven't seen the physical therapist as I've needed to, but I've decided I am going to try to spend some more time around this site when I am not working or doing other things that are uberly important.

My life has been rather empty without working on manipulating energy (psiconis, magic, whatever you are going to call it). So here I am, posting in a journal that hasn't been updated in forever.

I've had a lot of strange dreams, I'll probably put some up after I had another crazy dream that I can remember more in detail.

And another thing, part of the main reason I ever returned is truthfully, I am constantly surrounded by more and more people who are beginning to follow a path, whether they believe they are otherkin or into psi. ....and people have been really bothering me lately on AIM and the other instant messengers I am. It's okay I guess, I can deal with it. @_@ but if you ever talked to me and I seemed pissed off, it's not at you, life just gets in my way and I get short with people since my solitude got interrupted.

Well fair winds grace you all (= and whenever I post in here again.

[pressure]

welcome back!

life gets in your way? hmm i'm not sure that's healthy. maybe you get in lifes way? 0.o

[Ezekiel]

Kara you could be remembering past lives...>.>

[Lady Takara]

Yea, I know some of the dreams are actually remembering them. My life in the past was built around war, fighting, healing, surviving, commanding others. I really dislike it all.
One dream was meaningless and yet not so. It wasn't about the past life, but it was a really beautiful dream ^_^....because it 'intimately', well it wasn't that intimate, just the speaking and the few actions the existed was very intimate, I don't want to talk about it. ^_^....no sex or anything, it was all rated PG. It's not me particulary, I have no control over my home situation, which I am not going to go into.

Now onto different things....today, I've been contemplating something that happened on Tuesday. It was all really interesting! Not sure if Jan 15th was that day or not.

My eyes became entirely grey, well the err....iris part! I usually call it silver, because grey isn't shiny and silver is. My friends were freaking out about it because of something that happend in second block and I was acting rather weird. But that's just me when I get into that kind of state. (= You can tell by my eyes, what kind of way I am. I am going to continuing contemplating and I'll post up more when I've figured out some more.

Right now I'm dealing with a girl who in my eyes is very full of 'fluff.' Some of what she speaks may be true, but some of it is not, or most of it is not. If you can spend the time anaylzing and reading behind the lines, then yea, she's worth it. But I think some of what she does is really, well, for attention. I was arguing with her one night about her not doing suicide and she claimed to have the power to blow up the world or the universe if she wanted to. That turned me away instantly. No one, that is right now in human form, can do that. I'm being rather patient. The other people, who are my friends, who are beginning to learn, it's beginning to annoy me, them listening to her, but it was nice to hear from one of them, that she doesn't believe everything this girl says. I was rather relieved, maybe the others are too. I didn't want this girl to have hero worship or something. I totally don't want that either, but I'd rather see people on the right path and not believing in fluff when the hear it. But they are thinking for themselves, searching for themselves, and not relying on me a lot. They ask me for directions, to just point them on the right path, which I am okay with. I'd rather avoid teacher status, I am still learning myself, but I do enjoy helping out when I can. Know what I mean? I'm not really in a position to teach. Sure, we'll all be learning for the rest of our lives and perfecting ourselves, but certainly, I am not ready to be a 'teacher' yet. I am content with the position I have and would be for the rest of my life, helping others along their path, as I follow my own. It's their personal path to follow and not mine. ^-^...

[Lady Takara]

I went to the Council two nights ago. I was tired of dealing with my alter. She was going to end up wrecking my life. She's an unstable soul and has to be paired up with another soul to stay alive. I'm not sure if that's the real reason the Council paired me up with her. It made me more human, I know. They were going to put her on probation and if she disobeyed them she would be sealed away for a week. I felt somewhat horrible but relieved. Then my brother came up with an idea and we then got the Council to send my alter into someone else.

I noticed the differences a lot more. I am more Light now. I am constanly glowing now, my connection to the Light is stronger and a great weight has been lifted from my heart. My alter wasn't easy to deal with. I didn't mind her darkness at all, darkness wasn't the problem. It was the fact that she enjoyed hurting those closest to me. She also came out at the worst times. I know she was pissed that I was allowing myself to be hurt emotionaly, it's just my way, I can deal with it. At first it hurts, then it ebbs away. But I guess it's better this way. My eyes have converted to being more silver now.

I actually enjoy being free of her. I can deal with life better, not have to tread on a tight rope. I am very grateful fo my Council right now. They also were going to help with my problem with the black robe dudes, but I am finding ways to deal with them.

[Lady Takara]

Wow this is a major, I am updating again. Hahaha.

So I finally got annoyed at the fact that I've been seeing things and hearing things that I just didn't think where there. I was talking to a friend about this and they suggested they might be spirits. I guess they are right. They asked me what my intutition said. It's hard to trust my intutition, but what I felt was the reason why these 'spirits' were there. They were there for my own good. I'm unsure whether I screwed up somewhere along the lines....I know they've been around. One of them I swear is a dude, who likes to flutter this cloak around a lot. I can tell he's masculine, that dude who I swear who flutters his cloak. X3....Maybe he doesn't have a cloak. He's a dude who watches me. Like a...a...senteniel or something, unsure of the word or the spelling.

[Lady Takara]

I haven't done much of anything lately, besides what I normaly do. The only thing I've even tried doing is defying the veil and I still am, every night. But like....this happened before it. My abilities increated, my sensitivity to energy increased. I am trying my best to shield and ground a lot, but it's not helping. And it's not because of pms-ing either. It happened waaaaaaaaaay before that. Just not sure what to think. My body has dropped even more, the air colder around me. I'm less resiliant to the cold even more so now. Seeing energy has becoming more promienant. I have an away messgae up half the time because I really can't deal with so many people talking to me, it's to much energy at times, depending on who I am talking to, it gives me a headache. I'm trying really hard right now. Hope I can handle this soon.

[Ezekiel]

Consentration, find your trueself...think about yourself consentrate on your powers....and controling said powers....lower them down make then stronger, give them an on off switch something...

[Lady Takara]

Haven't been active, I go to reply to this journal and this something else pops up. I'm going to do research soon, but I'm rather busy with all these commisions for people with artwork. I have two layouts I have to do right now...yep, fun stuff.

But in other news, I'm using a lot of white light to tend to my emotional wounds. Stuff didn't go to down lately with people, which when it hurts them, it hurts me. Not going into it here, I don't like bringing the drama of my life onto a forum and such.

But other than that, not much else. Sorry about forgetting about this place. I seem to do that from time to time when I'm wrapped up in all these art projects and school projects and just in general life.

[Lady Takara]

I got something like the flu. So I'm trying to help my body fight it with healing and the 'white light' thing that I do that generally seems to help me. I'm usually under 8 blankets incubating myself, hahahaha.

But there is nothing like sleep and white light to try to get yourself over this really terrible cold (=

[Lady Takara]

As you probably seen on the general forum, that thread I started, I'm probably going to end up leaving. Hopefully things will improve for me and I can return full time.