JK's Third AP Log

[JediKaren]

Well I should probably write this even though I don't want to.

I'm having more nightmares. Every time I go to sleep I have uneasy dreams. Not true, went in my pant nightmares, but ones that I wake up feeling uneasy and upset, but never sure why.

And I know, my readers are probably going "go get counciling, go get free counciling at your school" but I can't get myself to go. It's so much easier to talk myself out of it. I tell myself that I'm fine. These bad dreams have to stop. I'm happy in the daytime and that should matter a lot. I don't need to tell one more person my sob story. I mean, I'm starting to get sick of talking about it. No one has a good answer. There seems to be real good answer. My life sucks and is going to suck for a while until my mom dies. That's just how life will be. I'm going to suffer more. It totally sucks. So why to go one more random stranger and tell them that my life sucks? I'm not sure what they can tell me or help me. So I'll just have to put up with bad dreams and focus on my crazy 4 history classes. I'll have plenty to distract myself with.

I dunno. I don't like the dreams, but I really don't like the idea of going to another councilor.

[JediKaren]

I am probably suffering from an emapthy overload that I purposely decided to happen. For some reason when dancing in a large crowd, I grow very calm and naturally open myself up to energy, taking in the mood of the crowd around and leaving myself open to get overloaded with the feelings of others. I caught myself even leaving myself open, knowing I would pay the price later, but didn't care. So what if I had a headache later? That's what healers are for.

What I forgot was empathy overloads are not just about getting headaches later on, but suffering deep sadness and depression. I guess it's something like getting drunk, only I have never drank. So here is my complaining, whining, pitiful rant about how I feel.

I didn't really want to go to the dance because I never do well at dances. For some reason I freeze up. It's not that I can't dance. Anyone can do a figure eight with their hips, but more that I can't get myself to relax enough to enjoy the dancing.

I didn't have a date. The one guy I might have danced with didn't want to dance because he was running on not enough hours of sleep and really shouldn't of been there. My better friend there and ex roommate brought her fairly new boyfriend, leaving me with no one to dance with. There were other groups of girls, but I didn't know any of them and none of them wanted me to join in their circle. No guy showed interested in me and yeah I know, being stiff and anti social doesn't help either.

I admit I'm lonely. I admit that I should find more friends, but I really don't want to. I like having a few close friends that I can come to when need be and not have to be too popular. Online is where I am popular, where I branch out and know everyone.

Maybe going to this dance after such a bad month at home wasn't a good idea. Maybe I have too many emotions to deal with and adding loneness wasn't a good idea. I'm not sure, but I now wish I hadn't gone. I hate just standing around, looking stupid. I have no courage when asking guys to dance and no ability to fit in. It makes me question myself and wonder what the heck is wrong with me and how did this happen.

Maybe this is all just the effects of an overload and maybe tomorrow I'll feel better.

[JediKaren]

Well this isn't ap related, but it is about my life and my life does seem to be related to the astral plane.

I got a phone call from one of my internet friends who talks to me so often. Both of us were not too happy with our lives. I let him talk for a while, trying to give him some advise, but it was on stuff I know nothing about. Then he had me tell him about my mom dying and how to deal with it.

By the end of the conversation I felt a lot better. He didn't really say anything new, but the way he said it and maybe him just saying it penetrated through my head. I realize that I spent a month at home sulking in my own pain. I did nothing. I just cried, hide, hated life and so on. I let my depression take control of me as it has done so much in the past. I wasn't trying to deal with the problem, I was just feeling sorry for myself.

I know now being depressed won't help anything. Maybe this situation sucks in every way, but there are things I can and should do, if not must. If I don't do them, then I must face the consequence that decision. Basically I have to talk to my mom. If I can't ask her the tough, about her past questions, then I need to make sure she knows I care for her and she will not die in vain. She will not be forgotten nor die in shame. If I can't say any of that, a simple hug will do. It's tough to think about doing that when I don't ever hug her or barely talk to her, but as my friend said, I can't let her die with these things unsaid. They will haunt me worse than anything else.

I also have to deal with my dad. I hate the idea of having anything to do with that wicked man. He really is responsible for this whole mess. I had planned to turn my back on him when my mom dies and never think about him again. Yet, my friend reminded me the memories of him will not go away and according to him, they will get more vivid over time as I remember things that didn't seem important at the time. I'm not sure how to deal with my dad. Part of me says I should at least not close the door completely. Part of me screams am I crazy? Close the door, lock it, throw away the key and never get near him again. I just don't know. I have a bit of a soft heart. I like to give people second chances. I like to believe people are good and sometimes go bad, but can always be good.

[dash]

i hate to barge into your personal business..
but i think you should treat your father like a misquito.. kindly watch him, inspecting his moves... and if he bites.. smack him down and show him his place in this world..

i know.. i have no right to say what should be done or what has to be done, ive never been in your shoes.. but .. i suppose i want you to try to be strong enough to break a few heads if need be..
not physically but.. you know..

"to have fallen so far to the dark side, they do not deserve to be saved" - kriea, star wars KOTOR 2
at least.. i think thats what she said....
to nutshell.. "no second chances"..
but then again.. thats from my point of view..

[JediKaren]

Ok so I'm in self defense class and today we learned about basic stances and one of the stances we learned was called "warning stance" which to me, makes me want to call it "freak out guy stance". What you do is stand with legs apart, then take a step back with your right foot. Raise both arms. With your left arm, extend straight as forward as you can and about head level. With your right arm keep it about chest level and bent, but parallel with your left arm. Hands flat and long. Basically it's suppose to put distance between you and the guy. Then shout in a yelling, not screaming voice, NO! In reality, I think it makes the guy fall on the floor laughing (giving you time to haul butt) or freaks him out, giving you time to get ready to kick some butt.

Now what gets really cool, at least to me, is in ep 3 of Star War, Obi Wan uses the exact move when fighting that droid dude (I don't bother with names of evil guys that die anyway) and I always thought that was a stupid move that looked so weird. At least with a lightsaber, it looks more serious and deadly. heh...now I know a move..yay! (lame, I know, I know, but it's me)

[The Adfeng]

Lol wow, that's great. I guess you're wants are coming true. You know a starwars move! *high five's JK*

[JediKaren]

I went to bed last night with Mirmo telling me Yoda wanted to talk with me. I really didn't because I was partly sick of Jedi, I wanted to be with Calmista, and I had a feeling what it was going to be about. For the last two days I had been overly stressed, angry, crying, and depressed over a big fight on my site that was partly my fault. I had talked to enough people about it and wanted to to lay dead.

I did spent time with Calmista, my main guide, but she made me promise to go back to Yoda afterwards. Afterwards came and I didn't want to go anywhere, but fall asleep. Well, he decided to come to me and was on my bed. He tried to get me to talk, but I quickly outlined all the problems and stuff and then refused to go further (hey I was in a good mood and why ruin that mood with depressing talking?) So he grabbed a round colorful pillow I keep near my feet (it's something like a cat for me) and then went out into the hall. Well I aply got up from the bed and went out the door and stopped. There was no way I was chasing after a pillow. I went back to my body. He came back and floated the pillow to the floor above me. I thought that if he can do tk and this is the astral plane and anything is possible here, I should be able to use tk to get the pillow back even though I can barely move a psi wheel in "real" life. Well I started getting the pillow back and then it stopped because he stopped me. I realized his will was far stronger than mine. (grrr) So he floated the pillow out the hall and over the edged of the floor so it was floating in air. I went after the pillow and projected myself over the floor, into the air and grabbed the pillow. I was also thinking about how I could float in air and shouldn't fall. I didn't fall and went back to bed and went to sleep.

grrr....my pillow

[JediKaren]

Have you ever had a role model to whom to looked up with great love and admired with all your heart and respect? Then you got the seemingly rare chance to actually talk to this person and get to know a tiny bit of them. You found they were all that you hoped and then more. They took an interest in you, seeking you out, helping you when were really down, willing to listen to your silly rants. They made you feel special, welcomed, accepted, respected, appreciated, and wanted. They could be stern, or soft, or mad, or worried, but you looked up to them all the same. There was even a sense of near equalship to the relationship. They took the time to teach you in awe inspiring ways, explaining ideas you were have never thought about, and put up with your slow, blondish mind. Without them, you would not be half the person you were before. And for a time things seemed to be a dream come true.

But then things feel apart and it was your fault. You were rude when you didn't mean it. You did something that was offensive, but you didn't mean it. You thought something was ok and it wasn't. You got them pissed off at you and it broke your heart. You apologized dearly and it didn't mean a thing. You looked into their eyes and what you saw before, the wonderful respect and caring, wasn't there, or deeply buried by horrible, unthinkable disappointment. You cried yourself to sleep, you spent days depressed. You got mad at yourself and then mad at them. You lost your ability to believe in yourself. You doubted everything.

Then you wondered the big question of why. Why did they listen to you? Why did they help you? Why did they make you feel like you mattered to them? Was it all a lie? Did they do it just because they felt they had to or was there some personal gain that had nothing to do with you? Were you some toy that was fun to play with, but not you don't work well anymore and they want to dump you, but they can't? Are you being used? You cry at these thoughts. You want to ask them, but you lack the nerves. You don't want to ruin was little trust and respect you might have, but then you wonder why go through more heartbreak? And then you wonder if you are blowing this up with all the false drama you can't get out of? You kick a wall in frustration, cursing out the fact it's so complex and it's all your fault.

You wonder what is wrong with you? Why can't you be like everyone else? Why can't you know what is right and what is wrong? You wonder why you are such a loser. You wondered why you even asked the role model to talk to you and teach you. You are wasting their time, hurting them, and hurting yourself. You are so lost. You are me.

[JediKaren]

(I just woke up 20 mins ago so forgive me if this doesn't make a lot of sense)

Last night around 1:30 after writing the begging entry, Yoda telepathically started talking to me as I was wanted to train and I said yes, but I asked if I could finish the horror movie was watching. I apologized again, really really meaning it. I asked him if i could finished the movie. I had thirty minutes left and I really didn't want to stop (I was getting to the good part). He wasn't all too happy with it, but agreed. So I finished the movie, got ready, and went to bed.

Of course the problem with watching a scary movie is I tend to go to bed scared. Now I know all too well the movie isn't real, but there was some part of my brain last night thoroughly convinced that some demon or something would be in my room doing something horrible. I was asked what was wrong and had to admit I was sort of scared. I was told to breathe, through my mouth. I did so and some of the fear went away. He told me to release my fears. So remembering the trick I used for my anger, I imagined the fear balling up close to my head and then having it float through me and into the air. I found this to harder than I remembered, but I did managed to do it. The only problem was I didn't get all the fear and it seemed when I got some of the fear out, more fear replaced it.

I gave up. It wasn't really working. I could feel him trying to do something with me, but I didn't want him to. He asked me if I would let him. He didn't say what he was going to do. I asked if he wouldn't hurt me or anything. He said he wouldn't. I stopped resisting and let him do whatever he was going to do.

I was expected myself being projected somewhere or being possessed or something. I didn't expect what happened. In my mind, I started seeing flashes of a ton of memories. The memories were in groups and had themes. The first theme was about anger, like people being angry at me that hurt. I was my friend's mom, my dad, and my mom. I remember one group of memories being fearful. Another, the last of them, was about things that made me feel happy, but at that point I was crying.

The memories stopped and I started to sob. It hurt so much. My past hurt so much. After a few minutes I made myself stop crying and curled up into a ball. I don't remember exactly what he asked, but he asked something like what was this one memory that got me really upset. I told him in a rather broke, confusing way (you all can get the straight out version of what happened)

Two years ago I had wanted a shower. My dad said I couldn't have a shower. I think we were doing a major clean out of the house. I didn't understand why I couldn't have a shower so I took one. My father caught me and had yelled at me. He said I was going to have to clean the shower. I didn't really care. I had spent the whole day cleaning and felt really dirty. I think I had gone for day without showering and I like to be clean.

Two days later my father called for me really angrily. He started to yell at me that I had to clean the bathroom. He scared me and made me feel really bad. He said I had left soap scums all over the shower (there weren't any). So I started cleaning. He yelled at me enough in such a horrible way that I started crying while cleaning. He came in and started screaming at me to stop crying. He threatened that if I didn't stop crying he wouldn't allow me to go with my friend that day. He kept screaming "STOP CRYING! STOP CRYING!" You can imagine how that only made me cry harder. He was seriously scaring the heck out of me. I can't remember him hitting me, but I think he may have threatened to. I somehow managed to collect the control to stop crying and finish cleaning the bathroom. If my mom heard any of this, she never said a word.

I did go with my friend to this caravel and right before we got there, I told her and her mom about what happened. I broke down crying all over again just at the memory. They didn't seem to be that outraged even though they knew about my family. Her mom had told me that well it was bad that it happened, but now I was at a caravel, so I should be happy and forget about it. Looking back I realized my friend's mom knew what my dad had done was abuse, but I think she didn't want to get involved and didn't know to handle a crying me. I did put away the bad feelings and somehow managed to put away the memory altogether until last night.

I admit just typing this is causing me to shake rather bad and I know I started crying again after telling him about it. I asked him why did he do this to me (making me replay all these upsetting memories) He said that I had a lot of fear and pain and I had to let go of them. I don't see how this got me to let go of any pain. Anyway I calmed down and told to sleep. I didn't want to because I knew I was going to have nightmares. He said he was going to stop them. Well I fell asleep, and as far as I can remember, didn't have nightmares.

[JediKaren]

Last night was certainly interesting to say the least, but let me tell you all what happened.

Calmista, my main guide had some private business with me, but when she was done, told me that Yoda wanted to train with me. Well after what he did to me the last time, naturally I was unhappy and kind of scared. Well he came and talked to me. I pretty much tried to come with every excuse I could think of as to why I didn't need him messing with my emotions and memories. I said I didn't need it, they weren't effecting me, they weren't effecting my school work, I was fine with my social life, I could live without ever remembering my past again. He had an answer for everything, ones that I didn't think of and ones I couldn't argue with. I asked him what he wanted to do. I saw in my mind my father and told Yoda no. I knew he wanted to something like the cave scene in ep 5. It was one thing for me to watching it and write about these sort of confrontations, but there was no way I was going to actually do one. I told him it would screw me up even more and asked me was it worth risking me to the darkside just so I might face some stupid fear? He said yes. I ran out of arguments and had to give in. I relaxed as much as I was going to relax and let him carry me off to where ever.

I found myself in my house, in my parent's room, and laying on my back on my dad's side of the bed. My father who is about 6' and fat as anything, as standing next to me, with no pants on. He was clear he was going to rape me. He came very close to me so I kneed him between the legs. He slapped me and advanced again. I kneed him again and he slapped me twice, but he was in enough pain that I could leave the room and did. I walked through the short all to the living room and saw my mom. I started to cry. I don't know why, but the sight of her made me just emotional melt. I saw Yoda sitting on a couch near by. He told me to go back to my father. Naturally when your father tries to rape you and hits you, you don't want to go back. I also noticed I had my lightsaber on me. I didn't bring this. I tried to make it dissappear, but it wouldn't. I told him I didn't want to kill my father. I didn't want murder on my hands. He ignored that and told me to go anyhow.

I went to the closed door of my dad's room and carefully opened it. As I was predicting, my father was about to attack me. I closed the door quickly, trying to keep it shut as my dad was pulling back. My dad won, but before he could do harm, I used psi to push him back and entered the room. I went to the other side of the room, trying to put space between us. My father screamed at me I was a freak. I told him I wasn't and pulled out the lightsaber (only now have I realized it was red, but at the time I wasn't paying attention to that). My father asked if that was real. I told him sadly it was and cut the comforter to prove it. I walked up to him and cut a tear into his shirt, again to prove it. I saw the fear in his eyes. I saw him getting ready to beg. I turned off the lightsaber, pressed the open end to his chest, but turned the hilt around so my fingers weren't near the on button. I told him he was an abuser. He was a bullier. He had anger problems. He had fear problems. I told him he was a jerk. I took a second to breathe out the anger that was building up and continued in a calm, sad voice. He used his fear to control people and he would lose everything. He has lost his son, turning his son into a woman because he son learned to hate who he was. He would lose me too. He would go to hell because he so stubbornly and blindly believed he was going to heaven (note I don't believe in god).

With that I backed away from my father. I used psi to choke my dad. I didn't do any harm, but only enough to let him feel it. I knew I could kill him with just a thought, but I didn't. I still didn't want murder on my hands. I let him go when I thought he got the message. My father attacked me again, but did not touch me. I made myself like a ghost so his hands would pass through my body. When I felt he had enough, I used psi again to trip him and watched him fall flat on his face, wiggling in wrath.

I left the room in a calm, slightly depressed, sadness. I wasn't angry or happy. It was so sad to see my father do this to himself. I went back to the living room and saw my mom. I melted and started crying there and also in real life. It was just too much so I stopped projecting. I could feel the tug, but I refused to come back. One person was enough. That had been to painful and I badly needed sleep.

[The Adfeng]

Wow... that's something I would never imagine happening. Or you doing that.

[JediKaren]

lol you obviously don't know me. There is a dark side to me that I think would scare most of you badly.

[JediKaren]

Seeing how my emotions seem to be "so" important to certain people (I'm still not very convinced and yes I am stubborn as all get out) I guess I should explain what's been going on with me, even though this has little do with with astral projection.

Today, sitting here and typing this out, I feel like I'm about to cry or I have been crying. I also feel like I'm emotional worn out, like I'm sick of feeling. I guess that shouldn't come as a big shock, looking at all that has happened today.

I think the strong emotional experience I'm going through started with yesterday. I was watching a movie that had kind of a sad ending that touched me a bit. I wasn't like about to cry, but it did sadden me a bit. I dreamed last night about something I can't remember. It wasn't a bad dream, but I have been dreaming a lot lately and I think it has to do something with these ap trips.

Then this morning I went to theater class and one of the activities we did was the trust fall. I hate that game. I just can't stand that feeling of having to willfully fall into someones arms. It's a horrible feeling and still gives me the creeps. I couldn't get myself to fall far, even though I knew the guy would and had catch me. I am aware I have bad trust problems. Like trusting people to enter my mind or touch me and stuff like that. I guess I have been hurt too many times, I don't want to let anyone else do anything to me, but have me do it.

Then I went to lunch thinking about the class. I was almost done with my meal when one of my friends came over to eat with me. I was close to being done, but I decided to wait a bit and let him not feel so alone. I noticed that he seemed sad or maybe sick and was going to ask him what was wrong, but didn't. I waited until he told me. He told me his grandfather had died over the weekend. I could tell he was hurting really badly while telling me this. I told him I had lost all my grandparents, some of my cousins, and that my mom was dying from cancer. He nodded, but I could tell that my words weren't reaching him. I felt really bad for him and wished I could say something meaningful. But then I had to go meet a teacher to talk about a topic of my paper.

I went back to my room to get my stuff together, still thinking of the guy. I think I had left myself emotional open to his pain, something I do naturally to try to help others, and was slightly unconsciously suffering from that. I went to my teacher's office, pretty nervous. For some reason I hate hate hate going to teachers outside of class, even if it's for help. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's just I'm scared they will think I'm bothering them or they will get mad at me for asking stupid stuff or find out I haven't done my work. Of course I was suppose to go to her the day before, but that couldn't be helped very much. Well I went and it didn't go as bad as I was fearing and I did get some help.

I went to my next class, with that teacher being there, and nothing emotional happened there and now here I am. I think with my emotions being picked apart by ap Jedi and then all this today has really gotten to me. Arg, stupid empathy and my forgetfulness about shielding. I wish I didn't have to go through the going back in my past stuff. That's just horrible to go through. It ruins your ego, makes you think about stuff you didn't want to think about, stirs up old anger and fear that were dormant. I don't see it doing much good for me. The only thing that hasn't happened are nightmares, but I worry with all this dreaming I'm doing that one will pop up and I can't stand nightmares.

[JediKaren]

I finally decided to get this over with and train with Yoda to do whatever he wanted.

Ok so the real reason was I was bored as all get out and there was literally nothing else to do. I first went to Mirmo because my stomach was really bothering me, but he couldn't find anything that was causing it, so he gave me something and I walked (ok half ran) out of his office and into the main part of the third floor (you're going to have to read other logs in order to understand about the third floor) I stood there wondering how to find Yoda and going over what I was going to do.

Suddenly he came from no where and asked if I called. Everything I had planned suddenly fell apart and I was having a hard time talking/thinking. I managed to stutter out that I was sorry for putting this all off and that I was brat, but I was ready to train and do whatever he wanted me to do. He took my apology and transported us off.

I really hate the feeling of someone projecting me to some other place. My stomach hated it worse and I had a bit of a fight not to stop projecting and run for the bathroom. When I finally settled down and opened my eyes, I saw I was in my house, but that was to be expected. I was in the living room, which was dark. I saw Yoda sitting on the couch that was near the kitchen, like last night. He indicted I was suppose to go to the kitchen, which was lit up. I knew my mom would be in there. I knew the scene was all too much like when my mom is up late, pacing madly around, smoking literally a dense cloud up and sometimes drinking while muttering crazily to herself. Yeah, she is insane and I mean that literally, in a sad way.

I went pale at the millions of memories of me standing where I was standing. Usually if I was standing where I was, it was because I was trying to listen to her muttering to see how drunk she was. I asked Yoda if she was drunk and he said no. That wasn't much of a relief. I myself started pacing a bit out of failing nerves. I didn't want to face her and I didn't have a clue what to say. But somehow I managed to get myself to the doorway of the kitchen and then finally walk in.

The scene was a very similar one to many in the past. She was in her corner with her hands on the cupboards and a cloud of gray blue smoke around her. I called out to her and she turned around startled. Whatever strength I had to get myself into the kitchen left. She asked what was it. I told her I was sorry. She had a confused look on her face and asked what had I done. I told her I was sorry for not being a very good daughter. She said nothing, considering my words. I went on to say while I wasn't a good daughter, she wasn't a good mother. She still had nothing to say. Tears started to leak out of my eyes in real life, but I made myself keep going.

I told my mom she was weak. All she done was be a caregiver, but not a mom. She may have had a very rough, painful life, but she could do more. All I wanted her to do was to be a mom and talk to me. And if she was going to die, then die and don't stretch it out for me. But please talk to me because I couldn't talk to her. I stopped saying anything and looked at her for a reaction. She got upset in her wild, crazy manner and stormed out of the kitchen, to what I guessed was the bathroom to smoke even more and to slam stuff around.

I walked over to one of the kitchen chairs, pulled it out and sat down to sob. I had failed to reach my mom and I had only caused her more pain, more anger, and more guilt. I had hurt her and she was the one person I didn't want to her. Yoda came by soon and waited for me to stop crying. I confessed to him that I hurt her. He said that I did nothing, that she did this to herself. No one makes us do anything. Only we do what we do. We can convince others to do something, but in the end, they are the ones that decide to do it. I couldn't save everyone. I couldn't make everything right.

I got mad/upset with tears at him. If I was going to fail with her, then why in the hell was I doing this? This wasn't real. This was all part of my imagination. He asked me was there a point? Was it real? That ticked me off even more. I know he said something that calmed me down, but I have no idea what it was. After I calmed down I asked if we could go somewhere else. I couldn't stand being in my really dark house. He agreed and projected me.

Again my stomach didn't like being projected, but when I opened my eyes I saw I was in his office. I was too worn out to get very nervous. Sometime later the door opened and Anakin Sykwalker came in. That was a surprise, but a good one. I like him because for one thing he was using the Anakin in ep 3 (before he went to the darkside) and sat down next to me. I cheered up. I noticed he and Yoda were on good terms with each other. I thought that was strange because after all, he was the one who destroy everything Yoda had built up and worked his butt off for. Anakin said that they had a few chats and some tests. I snorted and asked about that few? I wasn't stupid and knew he was rose tinting it. He grinned and said many. That was better.

It turns out Anakin had been watching me the whole time I faced my mom and more or less gave the same advice as Yoda did about that I can't do everything right and I could only do the best of me. That went off better than when Yoda said it. Then my mind started to wonder off about how cute Anakin looked and how there were real guys at school, but he did look really good....Of course both of them were hearing my thoughts and I blushed and demanded none of that leaved the room. Anakin reminded me there was no such thing as privacy here at the temple and anyone who wanted too could look into what had happened. I cursed out loud and I'm really surprised no one told me off. My mind started to wonder even more and I knew I was getting too sleepy to project for much longer. I asked to go and then went.

[JediKaren]

I went to bed really late last night due to caffeine and napping. I didn't want to ap because I wanted sleep and I didn't want to train. Yoda came by and tried to talk me into training. I told him no several times and got annoyed enough to growl out loud. That was a mistake. He wasn't going to put up with my tired anger, so he made me sleepy and calm to the point I closed my eyes. That's when I gave up and decided just to do whatever he wanted me to do, which of course was to let him project me to another place.

I found myself in a city, a HUGE city with extremely tall skyscrapers and well this sounds crazy, but think Coruscant in star wars. There were flying vehicles, much like in the movies, going past me. I was in their way and hurried to get away before I got hit (not that I would get injuried) I saw Yoda was there, floating like I was in the air. The sky was a bright sunny blue and the city looked really cool. He started to travel through air to someplace. I found the "flying" sensation to be fun and decided to play around with it by going up and down, twirling, and circling around him. I turned around so I was flying, facing him. He smiled at me. I was having a lot of fun until I slammed through a building.

It wasn't like I slammed into the building, but was more thrown through walls, desks, and other stuff until I came out on the other side, very disturbed. No harm came to me, but I would be happy if I never did that again. I decided to stop fooling around after that and actually look at where I was going. *grins meekly*

He was the leader and lead me to a really tall building that was sort of narrow with a glass dome. We travelled up the side of the building, to the dome and landed on the glass, looking down. I saw below us was a round, wide table with people sitting around the table. It looked like some meeting and from what I know about life, meetings at the top floor of buildings generally mean the meeting is a high level, very important one. I wanted to go through the glass to see what was going on, but a warning look from Yoda said not to. He carefully moved through the glass and near one wall. I followed suit and wondered why I got this feeling to be quiet and not disturb them. It's not like they knew I was there. Well he lead me out of the room and into this hall with bright red carpet, again another sign of either rich or and importance.

We walked to the end of the hall and through a door where there was a narrow stair case and another door. We walked through the door and into this bright, big, open hall? room? I realized I knew this room because I had been there before (though you won't find it in any log). I walked to the end of the hall where I knew there was a door that would open to another staircase. I was about to go for the door, but Yoda called out my name. What's really strange about that is he never uses my name when projecting. I turned and asked what. Just then (and yeah I know this sounds even crazier) Luke Skywalker opened the door and walked in, followed by Leia and two children that I'm guessing aroung 8-10 years old. I backed up to get out of the way and watched them walk across the room and to a door on the side. Leia told the kids to hurry because they didn't want to be late. I had no idea what that was all about and I never did get to find out because the projection was over and my astral body was sent back to my real body and I went to sleep.